2016 is going to be fun. And healthy. And funny. Our 2016 vision board features things that are actually going to happen, possible happenings and wishes. Once again, these are wishes mixed with reality. We’ll let you figure out what’s what.
We write about José Andrés more than any other restaurateur. 2016 looks to be no different. One of the things we’re excited about is more Beefsteaks, Andrés’ fast casual vegetarian restaurant. The third Beefsteak will open in Tenleytown in March. We would not be upset if there were soon as many Beefsteaks as there are sweetgreens throughout D.C.
The Deadpool Movie
We have to be on the back end of comic book movie excitement, right? This can’t go on forever, right? I know there’s more Avengers and Superman and Spider-Man movies coming, but it has to go away for at least a few years, right? Anyway, Deadpool may be the smart-ass superhero movie that fanboys have been desiring and pining over for years that satisfies.
Larry Wilmore Hosting The White House Correspondents’ Dinner
Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, James Corden and Larry Wilmore all took over shows in 2015. The best transition was Wilmore on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore. He’s the perfect pick for the final comic to host the White House Correspondents’ Dinner of Obama’s presidency. No one can ever top Colbert doing his best Colbert in the presence of George W. Bush, but it’s not healthy to live in the past. Let’s watch the video and pretend it’s the past!
Cheering Against The Nationals
Washington’s baseball squad acquired National League Championship Series MVP Daniel Murphy during the off-season. The 30-year-old second baseman should be a welcome addition to a team that already has NL MVP Bryce Harper. Murphy won’t be a welcome addition to Washington D.C. because he disagrees with the gay “lifestyle.”
Last season the Baltimore Orioles said some pretty progressive and good things about Black Lives Matter. It’s not that difficult to get to Camden Yards from D.C. And you don’t have a childhood attachment to a team that was created 11 years ago. Just root for the O’s.
Amy Schumer at Bentzen Ball
Amy Schumer is the most important working comedian. She may not be the best or your favorite or even your cup of tea, but no one else is impacting modern culture as much as Schumer. Love her or hate her (I love her, some of staff hate her and we’re still friends), Schumer is the only comic that casual comedy fans have an opinion about and the someone your mom knows. Hopefully Schumer is available and willing to be part of our comedy festival. Even if she’s not, we’re excited to see how she angers your closed-minded male friends.
Batting Cages in the District
We recently had a group outing to the new Dave & Buster’s in Springfield, Virginia. Six very different people enjoyed different styles of video games, games of skill, fried food and drinks with silly names. The one thing that would have made this better, other than having to get to Springfield, Virginia, is batting cages.
An Unironic Appreciation of Guy Fieri
Fieri is not a bad person. You were a hack for making fun of Guy Fieri in 2015. Let’s make Fieri a hero in 2016. He likes things like diners, drive-ins and dives. He has fun hair. He plays bongos with Matthew McConaughey. He even wants out of his restaurant chain. So stop hating on Fieri. It’s lazy and food equivalent of hating Nickelback. And what have you down for small restaurant businesses?
Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture
If Mitt Romney won the 2012 election the 2016 opening of Smithsonian’s National Museum of Afircan American History and Culture would have been awkward.
If the museum is anything like their Commemorate and Celebrate Freedom events in November, it’s going to be great.
— Smithsonian NMAAHC (@NMAAHC) November 22, 2015
Election Night Parties
Your person wins. Hooray! Party!
Your person loses. Oh no! Rage against the future and party until you don’t know why you’re upset.
More Affordable Gyms
We’re helping with Cupid Undies Run this Valentine’s Day weekend. We’re trying to stay in shape. It’s difficult to run outside in January and February so a gym becomes more desirable. A gym becomes less desirable when it’s $100 a month. Even the YMCA is $80+ a month. D.C. is great for a lot of things. Cheap gym options isn’t one of those things.
Paying for MARC on your Phone
You can pay for other cities transit systems on your phone. This is convenient and helpful and does not eliminate any jobs. So let’s hope someone from MARC is reading this and decides that they want more people riding their transit system.
Fixing the Rock Creek Trail
The Rock Creek Trail is a beautiful and functional path for runners, bikers and commuters. It’s becoming less beautiful and less functional due to heavy use. The trail rehab discussion began in 2011. Five years later, the trail still needs to be rehabbed. Hopefully this is the year. If not, it’ll slowly develop into just a hiking trail.
Yearbook Photo Shoots
BYT is the best party thrower (we know party thrower isn’t a term but party producer sounds douchey so we’re going with party thrower) in D.C. We have the best photo booths. But now everyone has photo booths. Let’s get away from subpar photo booths (ours are still good) and begin transitioning to high school yearbook themed photo shoots.
Think Pieces About Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Think this is over? Nope! It’s just beginning. Episode VII was released right before most writers went on holiday break. Guess who has an opinion on Episode VII? Most every writer! Whether you want to prove your point that Star Wars is progressive or conservative, sexist or sex positive, big or little, up or down, black or white, the think piece that caters to your preferences is coming.
More Tapes From More Local Musicians
Tapes are easier to make than vinyl. If we’re being honest, we buy records from local bands, use the download code included in the 7 inch and listen to the digital version and rarely put the vinyl on the record player. Tapes are cheaper and also tend to include download codes. It’s a win-win for both collectors and bands.
Side note hope: tape releases featuring different types of bands and performers. In an ideal world I’d find many tapes featuring local shoegaze sharing a tape side with local free jazz. Maybe a stand up and metal comp. How about hip-hop and thrash split? Let’s work together, people.
Ta-Nehisi Coates Writing Black Panther
The author of 2015’s most important and critically acclaimed book, Between the World and Me, is going to be penning the upcoming Black Panther series. This will be the gateway drug for readers with a sense of social justice and for readers with a sense of social justice that enjoy people in costume.