With St. Patrick’s Day, all of America turns its attention to the Irish – or, at least what we think of as Irish: green beer, shamrock shakes, beer commercials with Kathy Ireland, the musical repertoire of Mary Mark. Even worse, thousands of drunk, sketchy guys with vomit-stained green t-shirts will use the day to hit on you by claiming that they’re “part Irish”.
Forget all that, and let’s get back to the roots of what St. Patrick’s Day is really about: visually exploiting hot, true Irish men. Enjoy.
1) Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Trivia: Actually born with the very-Irish name of Jonathan O’Keeffe
2) Bono circa 1983
Trivia: Although his father was Catholic, Bono was raised Protestant by his Protestant mother.
3) Cillian Murphy
Yes. Everything about him. Yes.
4) Colin Farrell circa 2002
He has a sextape. Google it (not at work).
5) & 6) JEDWARD
The Irish twins have twice competed for the Republic of Ireland in Eurovision, becoming pop stars in the process. And, while they are not that good musically, WE JUST DON’T CARE.
7) Michael Fassbender
Trivia: The Hollywood hunk was actually born in Germany (to an Irish mother and German father), but moved to Ireland when he was two years old.
8) Niall Horan of One Direction
With or without the braces, he is adorable.
9) Domhnall Gleeson
The awkward Bill Weasley in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I & II sure grew up nice, and his red beard in Anna Karenina was everything.
10) Danny O’Donoghue of The Script
Apart from his band, O’Donoghue is a judge on the UK version of The Voice
11) Pierce Brosnan
Our first DILF crush became an American citizen in 2004.
12) Chris O’Dowd
Yes, we couldn’t figure out why there was an Irish cop in Wisconsin in the movie Bridesmaids, but we didn’t care. O’Dowd is adorkable in a number of films and television shows – including Girls.
And in fairness, here are a few hot men from Northern Ireland to think about:
1) Jamie Dormnan
The mega-model can be seen working for Calvin Klein, Dior, Armani, and is currently starring in the ABC show Once Upon a Time.
2) Liam Neesen
Raised a Catholic in Northern Ireland, Neesen was inspired to act when he would sneak into the Protestant church of unionist Ian Paisley to watch him preach (Paisley would later work Sinn Féin to cement the peach process).
3) Kenneth Branagh
You made movie day in every high school English class a delight.
4) Brian Kennedy
While Americans might not be familiar with Kennedy, this DILF bear is a pop star in the UK and Ireland where he is a judge on The Voice Ireland. He came out as gay in 2009. Kennedy grew up on Falls Road in Belfast, the epicenter of the Troubles.
5) Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol
An unashamed nerd, and we love it.
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