OUT magazine named statistician Nate Silver as its “Person of the Year” this week. Silver, who won the ire of conservatives everywhere for accurately predicting the 2012 presidential election, has never really been in the closet. But, he did publicly acknowledge that he was gay for the first time this year when asked. Although, to be fair, he did throw a wink towards saying he was gay earlier this year with these deliciously awesome and sassy Tweets:
Still, Nate Silver irked a lot of gay people this week when he told OUT that “to my friends, I’m kind of sexually gay but ethnically straight.” Huh?! What?! Girl did not say that, did she? OH YES SHE DID.
Fine. We get it. What Nate Silver was trying to say was that he appreciates a good penis, but not a pinot. That’s fair. But, being gay isn’t all about rainbows, and ponies, and glitter. We come in all shapes and sizes, no matter our “ethnicity”. You’re gay, Nate. You’re really, really gay. You’re ethnically gay, even. You may not think you fit gay stereotypes, but you do (and we love you for it). It’s ok. You’re just really, really gay – and we’re here to prove it. Statistics prove that it gets better.
12 Ways Statistician Nate Silver is Really Gay
(even though he says these qualities make him “ethnically straight”)
1) He’s More of a Good Jewish Boy than a Gay Man.
Oy! So is Harvey Fierstein.
2) Fine. He’s half-Jewish.
The votes are in, and America has spoken.
3) It’s not that he’s Gay per se, he just lives in Brooklyn.
As does JD Samson.
4) He’s more of a nerd.
Bazinga! Jim Parsons won an Emmy for playing the ultimate nerd on the Big Bang Theory. He came out in May, and is a nerd in real life.
5) He’s a child of the 80’s, and therefore beyond labels like “gay”.
Sara Gilbert played ultimate 80’s child Darlene Conner on Roseanne, and has gone on to become a media mogul and co-host of The Talk. She came out as a lesbian in 2010.
6) He’s more “ethnically straight” because he’s just not a snazzy dresser, or obsessed with fashion.
This was one of Barney Frank’s first campaign posters. It still holds true today.
7) Unlike most gays, he’s obsessed with sports.
LD Granderson is an award-winning sports contributor for ESPN, covering mostly the NFL and professional tennis. You really can’t be more knowledgeable about sports than he.
8) Fine. Specifically, he’s obsessed with Major League Baseball.
Meet Glenn Burke, the gay major leaguer widely credited with inventing the high five.
9) He’s identifies more as an author.
“Oh, hi! Oscar Wilde here.”
10) As a statistician, he’s way more into math than dudes.
Alan Turing was a mathematician and the father of computer science and artificial intelligence. He may be the most famous math nerd of the 20th Century. He was convicted by the UK in 1952 of homosexuality and pumped up with female hormones as punishment. The UK offered an official apology in 2009 and this month, scientists like Stephen Hawking mounted a campaign to wipe his record clean.
11) It’s easy to confuse “gay” with “European”. See, he studied at the London School of Economics.
You can’t go into a gay bar in Washington without hearing someone talk about LSE.
12) He’s less into Prada and more of an avid poker player, that’s all.
Professional poker player Jason Somerville came out in February to his fans.
BONUS: Remember these guys who got married in Washington State this month? They’re way more “ethnically straight,” yet they’re still really, really gay.
Sorry, Nate. You’re really, really gay. We also love you for it you sexy, sexy nerd. Congratulations on being named OUT Magazine’s “Person of the Year”. You deserve it. This song’s for you:
Nate Silver’s new book “The Signal and the Noise: Why Most Predictions Fail but some Don’t” is available on Amazon.
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