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Brent Sullivan is coming down from NYC tonight to headline the 3 Chord Comedy happy hour entertainment series at the Velvet Lounge. We asked Eli Sairs (host of said series) to conduct a short interview with the man on the subject of: Why him? and Why now? We think the results speak for themselves.

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Eli: There are lots of cliches about why people become comedians (got bullied, defense mechanism, need attention, suck at attorney-ing, etc, etc). Which cliche are you? (I’m a cross between “need attention” and “not hot”)…

Brent Sullivan: I’m mostly just trying to get laid. No joke. But it hasn’t happened after a show yet. Maybe that’s why I’m still doing shows.

What theoretically would be your worst night of comedy ever, followed by your actual worst night of comedy ever?

BS: A night in which I don’t get laid after a show. Which, thus far, has been every night of stand up I’ve ever done. Why am I doing this with my life?

List some comedic influences that are not stand-up comedians.

BS: Fred Phelps. I do a one-man show about him. He’s amazing. You can check out the first few minutes of Fag Life: A Conversation with Fred Phelps on youtube.

If you could make a set of guidelines that comedy venues had to follow under law, what would they be?

BS:

1. Only Brent Sullivan performs

2. Audiences should be legally obligated to laugh at everything Brent Sullivan says.

3. No Republicans.

What would be the punishment if they break these laws?

BS: Death. (for both the owners and patrons)

brent sullivan

If you could make a set of guidelines comedians themselves had to follow?

BS: Let’s lay off the queef jokes, guys.

A lot of people reading this may have silly plans to do other things Friday, June 4th at 7 pm. Explain to them why going to our show is a much better idea.

BS: We are gonna rock the fuck out of the room.

Jun4_3Chord

Hard to argue with that. See you there maestro!

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