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Crashing the Drag Race: Week 1
February 1, 2012 | 9:45AM

RuPaul is back with her fourth season of Drag Race. If you don’t know how much of a cultural force that the drag reality show has become in DC, just take a look of this picture of gay Washingtonians last night (and there were HUNDREDS of such posts on Facebook this morning).

A DC Drag Race Viewing Party: It’s like the Super Bowl Every Week!

This season, RuPaul is possessing a lot of “Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent,” as she repeatedly says, because she is not playing around. First of all, she has real commercials this year – like for Tide,  Dove, and some Tyler Perry movie that no one is going to watch.  If you remember last year, the only people who advertised on RuPaul’s Drag Race were discount organic tampons and Snuggie. Second, she’s a complete bitch in the premier episode this season. No fucking around for Ru. You best to get it right first thing out of the gate.

Before we go any further, we’d like to follow the Drag Race tradition of bringing in a guest judge.  So, each week we’ll be bring in a famous Washingtonian and putting them through the Dragulator to join us as our Celebrity Guest ReCapper (in name only).  This week:

Washington Celebrity Guest ReCapper: José Andrés
Drag Name: Cathy Atlántico

Intro

Like each of the past seasons, the girls walk into the workroom one-by-one but they quickly realize that a few of them know each other and cliques begin to form.

Mini Challenge

If you haven’t noticed by now, each season’s mini challenge follows the same pattern episode-by-episode.  As with past seasons, the first mini challenge is a fashion photo shoot with celebrity photgrapher (and hot Latin daddy) Mike Ruiz. The twist is that it is a “toxic photo shoot” which requires the girls to spin on a disk while the pit crew sprays them down with neon paint. We won’t bore you with details, except to say that all the fat girls fall down.

Still, heavyweight Jiggly Caliente wins the challenge despite her weeble wobble heft.

Before the main challenge gets underway, the girls have their first opportunity to see what their competition looks like out of drag, and the reading glasses and sharp claws start to come out.

Best Read: (Jiggly Caliente on Latrice Royale out of drag) Latrice, girl, she went from lookin’ like Aretha Franklin to Biggie Smalls.

Main Challenge

The production values on season four have increased (location shoots, sepia tones, camera sweeps, warddrobe) as evidenced when RuPaul takes the girls to a burned out motel in West Hollywood where they will “shop” for their Post Apocalyptic/End-Of-The-World outfits.  They do this by snatching clothes off of zombie versions of former contestants as they stumble around the courtyard. Shangela appears and gets eaten by the mob at the end.

Back in the work room, it is clear that some of the girls are having trouble. Alisa Summers is centering her outfit on her breast plate which we all know is a no-go with the judges. She might as well show her penis.

Ru visits the girls, and Latrice shares that her “end of the world moment” is when she spent 18 months in prison, and lost her mom at the same time. Not to let a bitch out do her, Jiggly Caliente brags that her mom is dead too, and Alisa Summers recalls the time she was arrested in full-drag.  All we need is a dyslexic and we’re a commercial break away from a very special episode of Blossom. Moving.

Sharon Needles also reveals her Tammy Faye Bakker (RIP) tattoo.  “When I was young I had no idea she was selling me Christianity. I thought she was selling me make-up.”

Best Read: (The Princess on Sharon Needles out of drag) You are totally the type of guy I go for, too. That whole meth look. That works for me.

Runway Competition

Elvira joins the the gang as the guest celebrity judge. Sharon Needles kills it with her “Linda Hamilton in Beauty & The Beast (80s drama, not Disney) underworld” look, complete with blood gushing from her mouth. Additionally, Lashauwn Beyond stumbled when her towering look was stunted by her meek personality, and Phi Phi O’Hara worked her Tina Turner “Thunderdome” creation.

ALSO:

Willam does a respectable job on the runway, despite looking like Willom Defoe in drag.

Best Read by the Judges: (RuPaul stalling the “safe girls” before they disappeared backstage) Oh, ladies, while you’re back there you may want to think about how you make a more…memorable…impression next week. That’s all.  — No, it wasn’t witty or sharp, but the tone by RuPaul conveyed death and sits up there with any cold-blooded read the show has produced to date. That’s all.

Elimination

Despite winning the photo challenge, Jiggly Caliente was up for elimination because her aluminum foil outfit looked like a baked potatoe eating Cyndi Lauper. She was joined by Alisa Summers who wore a breast plate despite every gay man in DC screaming “No, girl!” at the television.  They lyp synced for their life and Jiggly came out on top because she jiggled everything she had, and even dropped down into a split. Alisa just sat there like a really boring bottom you regretted hooking up with.  Alisa Summers is eliminated, and is sent sashaying back to Tampa.

AND THEN THERE WERE TWELVE

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Recent Comments:
  • BYGays The BYGays says:

    We sashayed away and corrected it. Thanks, girl, for the read!

  • js says:

    It’s “charisma”, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. Charm don’t count for shit.

  • That's All says:

    Yep! Willam does look like Willom Defoe in drag.

  • Eric says:

    I cannot wait for the episode where the girls have to read each other, because there are some fucked up queens on this season for sure.

  • bANAKA says:

    For the reading Challenge I look forward to hearing from Sharon Needles & Willam… both have already proved that they have a biting wit and sharp tongue. I say the Library is open…and reading is fundamental !

  • Ryan V. says:

    best part of season 4: MY FAVORITE PIT CREW MEMBER IS BACK

  • Shauna Shauna says:

    The mini-challenge was a total rip off (or should I be nicer and say inspired by?) an Alexander McQueen piece:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P13oZsD-t4s&feature=related

  • Wow, yeah says:

    wow…I agree. There wasn’t even a hint at an homage with the minichallenge. No camp in it at all either. They should have credited McQueen or camped it up with some sort of wink.