The big concert newsflash (so far) of the week: THE GOSSIP ARE COMING TO THE 930 CLUB ON SEPTEMBER 24th.
(The Gays are going ga-ga right now)
And as per usual, we’ve got a pair of tickets you can win before tickets go on sale this Thursday @ 10am via ticketfly. All you’ve got to do to win is comment below with a real email address answering the following: If you and Beth Ditto (+ her babely celebratory entourage) were going out for a night on the town, where would you go? What would you do? And who would you inevitably get into a drunken brawl with?
* Winner will be selected by 9AM on Thursday.
We’d go to the Crew Club and have her walk around in a towel just to freak the gays out. I’ll get in a fight with her when she tries to top me.
Since Gossip (or at least Beth) is from Oregon, I would take her on a beer crawl of DC that would include RFD’s, Churchkey and the Big Hunt. In Oregon we know our music and beer, so that would be a perfect night out and nobody would need to get in a fight.
We’d start off at Gibson because she and her entourage, deserve the best cocktails DC has to offer. I’d then take her Black Cat if it’s an off night and there are no alterna-gay parties. If there is an alterna-gay party (Mixtape, CTRL, etc), I’d take her there just so we would be amongst our brethren. We’d then get in a fight with all the terribleness that is in Adam’s Morgan and end up back at my apartment for a late night kiki.
I’d take her to the Hay-Adams for high tea, then get drunk on cognac and rumble with the DAR ladies over gay marriage.
we would commender a pedi cab and do a bar crawl through U st – dc9, nellie’s, town, black cat. we would get bff tattoos and grab a slice from manny and olgas. the entourage would still be hungry (we need to soak up all that liquor) so we’d go to ben’s chili bowl and beth would make inappropriate gestures with the half smoke. we’d get into a brawl at 14th and U – in leiu of snowballs, we’d have a water gun fight. then beth would come home with me and we’d have a big gay sleepover party.
Well…I am thinking we would probably knock back some Whiskey…head down to Pennsylvania Avenue and protest some shit…then brawl with the secret service!
First we’d go get cheap-ass Mani/Pedis. Then I’d take her to the fish market where we’d slurp down four dozen oysters, minimum. From there I’d take her back to my place where the only brawl would be after I filled up a children’s wading pool with mud and we’d rastle the night away. With a fabulous mix tape soundtrack, of course.
Beth and I would head downtown NYC,Greenhouse,Eastern Bloc ect,after many drinks we’d have a VOUGE. Off and then prank call Lahomma Vanzant . After a smoke break We will storm Times Square for an impromptu photo shoot.
A drunken brawl would insue due to these lame ass dudes who try to get you to come to comedy shows. Beth would then distract the police with her fierceness and I’d get fuck outta doge because Imdont need another charge . We’d meet back up at the Chelsea Piers and have a Kiki till the sun came up.
We would go to my apartment and I would introduce her to my cats. Then we would play drunk Xbox Kinect and write Saved By The Bell fan fiction, because nobody seems to do that anymore. Finally, we would get in a fight with my roommate, because she hates when I make Mr. Belding force Zack to be his slave in exchange for a passing grade.
We would go to my apartment and I would introduce her to my cats (we would take pictures and post on Facebook) and then play drunk Xbox Kinect while penning Saved by the Bell fan fiction. At some point during the night, we would get in a fight with my roommate, because she hates that I always make Mr. Beldling force Zack to he is slave in exchange for a passing grade so he can go to the prom. That would SO happen, though, and she is just mad because I thought it first.
we would definitely start out at bear happy hour at town, then commandeer the rooftop at nellies for some dancing and corn dogs, then grab some hot dogs at ben’s chili bowl for the sustenance that will be needed to throw shit down and get in a brawl of sorts by having walk-offs kiki style down 17th with all the boys leaving cobalt, diks, and jrs at 2am.
Me and beth would travel across the d.c night area…go from the 9:30 club to the verizon center…go out to eat at matchbox. Do more sight seeing…take her to see the landmarks she was interested to see…get in a drunken fight who stood outside of matchbox and said that there pizza sucked…ditch her entourage to take a walk around either u st or geogretown so we can time to talk and reflect on whats on our minds at the time
Beth and I would go to a hot sweaty Scissor Sisters concert at the 9:30 club – where they are sure to pull you up on stage to perform with them – and audience would go crazy when you dive into the horde for a spectacular bit of crowd surfing.
We would inevitably get into a drunken smackdown with Adam Lambert – when he tries to steal you from me – because after seeing you two on Andy Cohen’s show – it’s obvious he’s in love with you. Too.
We would have a drink in every quadron of dc. We’d start in NE h street corridor and have PBRs at the rock and roll hotel. Then jaunt to SE anacostia to keep it real for a sip of bourbon and check out the amazing views of DC. Then to the SW waterfront to get a fancy Apple purée’ martini at the Mandarin Oriental. Final stop in NW the rooftop of the W , where we get into a brawl because some congressman asks one of our enterouge… “how much?”
So we say fuck it and get some jumbo slices..
Classic U Street! Start with a meal at Dukem and move on to Nellie’s and Black Cat. We’d spend the night planning our Pussy Riot style punk rock protest on the steps of the Capitol and get in a brawl with Congressional Republicans the next day.
Beth, the entourage and I would hit the Gibson, we’d Gossip (of course), then get into a brawl with Posh Spice and Katy Perry (on Victoria Beckham: “Posh Spice is an absolute joke. In the Nineties she did all that Girl Power stuff, then she realised being thin got her attention. She’s just a total tool”; on Katy Perry: “She’s offensive to gay culture, she’s just riding on the back of our culture without having to pay any of the dues and being actually lesbian or anything at all”). Finally, I’d have to tell Beth and the rest that I’d love to stay and party, but I got to go to work, work, work…
I’d introduce Beth to my alter ego Cameron Demarco. We’d join the rest of my bandmates in my imaginary band Gash (we’re just back from hiatus ourselves) and perform several of Yoko Ono’s greatest hits in a surprise performance in the basement of Science Club. Next we’d move over to DIK where she’d tell everyone she was Adele and proceed to sing a punk rock version of Someone Like You at karaoke. After that, we’d get in a drunken glitter fight with anyone who looked at us on 17th St (don’t they know who we are!?!) before stopping for a late night snack at McDonald’s which we can’t eat because, ahem, well, you know. Everyone would then pile into Ubers blaring Robyn and Goldfrapp and we’d drive around until it was time for drunch on Sunday. Before she left, she’d play a few innings as catcher on my gay kickball team and we’d eventually make her league MVP.
September 23, Penn Quarter: Beth, her entourage, and I would begin the evening by browsing the National Portrait Gallery and American Art Museum before having dinner at Oyamel. We’d then head to Woolly Mammoth Theater to catch”The Elaborate Entrance of Chad Deity,” a provocative new show about professional wrestling to get us thinking about social issues, but also to pump us up for the night’s fight. We’d liquor up at Graffiato before brawling our way into Madonna’s dressing room at the Verizon Center and demanding she cede her Queen of Pop crown to Beth Ditto. Madonna, given no other choice, would surrender the title the next evening to a triumphant Gossip at the 9:30 Club.
After a quick visit to Scrap! (http://www.scrapdc.org/) for some spandex, we’d whip up some custom made skin tight bad ass dresses to show off Beth’s fierce curves on our night out. After that, the requisite trip to Phase, followed by a jumboslice run, because shit, we’re drunk in DC. The only fight is slurred between cigarettes over whether or not Kathleen Hanna snitched on Courtney Love.
I have no idea. Wherever, whatever she wants.
We would start off the night at Mongolian BBQ in the Cleveland suburb of Coventry, board the last flight at Clevaland’s Hopkins Airport to New York, New York. Jump into a car and drive to Silver Spring, MD stopping at at every rest stop with a Cinnabon, and drinking 4 Loko. When we arrive in Silver Sprng to see The Dark Knight Rises to figure out what the FUCK Bane is saying. While leaving the theater we run into the Palin family leaving Chic Fil-A. We get into a fight, and they appear to be winning. Just when all hope appears to be lost, Willam Belli from Rupual’s Drag Race appears and stabs the Palin family about the chest, and neck meat with her manolo blahniks. They die. We win.
Beth Ditto and I would head to the Mac counter — and get divaglam’d up before the show. Then run through the Hirschorn and see the Barbara Krueger exhibit and look at the great views of the city. Then go to the Navy Yard and jump on the trampoline at the Trapeze School. Then run back over to U street and grab a drink at Brixton before heading back to the 9:30 club for getting our hair done pre show.
Wherever, whatever she wants.
my ladyfriend shakes the best cocktail in dc, so i’d start the night off with a proper drink in my little backyard with a group of fun dykes. then we’d walk the block and a half from my house to atlas arcade on H in NE where beth and co. could compete in a serious ms. pacman tournament, and then maybe late night lady show at red palace. fighting? i guess if a dude tried to pick up my girlfriend (or beth), i’d have to throw down. night ends with a fantastic late night slice at h&pizza. come visit me, beth!
I’d take them for tea in the afternoon at Café Promenade in the Mayflower Renaissance Hotel… except we’d swap out tea for champagne and turn it into a rowdy Mad Hatter style ruckus fest. On the way out, we would get into a brawl with the DC Housewives since they are all a bunch of has-beens.
For starters , we would have to hit the strip clubs and then out for a few hours of high energy dancing , gay or straight place it doesnt matter . Once we have more then a few drinks in us we would go out for grub and obviously get into a fight with the drive thru person who screwed our damn order up …..