Dreading the end of Parks and Rec‘s fifth season?

YOU’RE IN LUCK because Aziz Ansari AKA stand-up comic extraordinaire AKA Swagga Coach of our hearts AKA Parks and Rec‘s Tom Haverford AKA bestie to Jay-Z  and Kanye, is coming to DAR Constitution Hall on Friday, March 29th. Tickets for this will disappear IMMEDIATELY but DON’T FREAK because we’re sending you and a friend for free before they even go on sale.Who do you love?

Update: A SECOND show on March 29 has been added billed as the “late show” at 10pm.

TO WIN: Tell us your  own food nickname creation. It could be ANYTHING. Winner will be notified by C.O.B. on Monday, Feb, 4th; be sure to include your email with your response!

…And obviously I just have to throw this in there: