Valentine’s Day Cards Only DC Could Love
BYT Staff | Feb 12, 2013 | 9:00AM |

Illustrations by Ryan Mahoney // Concepts by Peter Heyneman, Jenn Tisdale, Sniffles Manchester

Valentine’s Day, originally started in honor of Saint Valentine, is now mostly associated with the display of love, whether it be between husband, wife, or partner, or between boyfriends and girlfriends, a person to his/her emotionally dependent crutch.

Like most of our cultural rituals, Valentine’s Day has become a cash crop for many companies ( Hallmark, Lingerie stores, Chocolates companies, Jewelry shops pedaling blood diamonds, flower shops exploiting migrant workers … damn this is getting dark) to make large amounts of money by selling overpriced items.

But wait! We’re here to both save you so many and hyper-localize the word play of your Valentine’s Day cards. Enjoy these DC-specific Valentines:

  • Napoleon Complex Husbands
>>>>>>>>>>>> Here is a Featured Event >>>>>>>>>>>>
Thursday 10/27
The Bentzen Ball Presents: Jon Dore @ Drafthouse Comedy
$25.00 / $25.00
The BYT Bentzen Ball Presents: Jon Dore! at Drafthouse Comedy ~~MULTIPLE SHOWS~~ Thursday, Oct 27th, 2016 6:15pm doors / 7:00pm Show Friday, Oct 28th, 2016 7:15pm doors / 8:00pm Show Friday, Oct 28th, 2016 9:40pm doors / 10:00pm Show Saturday, Oct 29th, 2016 6:15pm doors / 7:00pm Show Saturday, Oct 29th, 2016 8:15pm doors / 9:00pm Show @ Drafthouse Comedy 1100 13th St NW, Washington, DC 20005 $25.00 tickets on sale now! This is an 18+ event. ~~~~ About Jon Dore: Named one of “10 comics to watch” by Variety, Ottawa-born comedian, host and actor Jon Dore is renowned for his offbeat humour and unique bait-and-switch style. Dore is a favourite on the comedy club and festival circuit in Canada and the United States. He has hosted the Just for Laughs Festival Homegrown Comedy Competition on a number of occasions and has enjoyed sold-out runs at the Festival’s Montreal and Toronto locations, at comedy festivals in Halifax, Vancouver, Portland and Washington, DC, and at the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival in Manchester, Tennessee. From his humble beginnings as the co-host of the cable talk show Daytime Ottawa (Rogers Television) and the irreverent roving reporter on Canadian Idol (CTV), Dore recently starred in the critically acclaimed ABC-TV series How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life) opposite Sarah Chalke, Elizabeth Perkins and Brad Garrett. Dore is the host of HBO Canada’s Funny as Hell, a series showcasing bold and uncensored comedy from the fastest rising comedians at the Just For Laughs Festival, currently shooting its fourth season. He is the star of his own award-winning ‘mockumentary’ series, The Jon Dore Television Show, documenting his hilarious and outrageous debates on life’s challenges and changes, from weight loss to gender. He also served as co-creator, co-producer and writer on the series, proving he is just as comfortable behind the camera. The series ran for a successful two seasons on IFC and The Comedy Network. Dore starred in the stand-up specials Comedy Central Presents...Jon Dore and Comedy Now! (CTV/The Comedy Network); appeared on a number Comedy Central’s specials including Live At Gotham, CC: Stand-Up: The Bonnaroo Experience and Mash Up; made guest-starring turns on How I Met Your Mother (CBS) and Scare Tactics (Syfy); and was the lead in the CBS pilot My Life As An Experiment. A regular on late night talk shows, Dore has the honor of being the first stand-up to appear on Conan (TBS). Dore's feature film credits include the indie drama Gus opposite Michelle Monaghan (Mission: Impossible III) and the comedy Stag, with Donald Faison (Scrubs) and Eva Amurri (Californication), which picked up two awards - Best Ensemble and Excellence in Filmmaking - at the LA Comedy Film Festival. TV Guide Canada called Dore one of the “rising stars of the future” and Toronto weekly NOW Magazine named him Best Male Stand-up. He is the recipient of four Canadian Comedy Awards including: Best Taped Live Performance (2010) for Just for Laughs; Best Performance by a Male in a Television Show (2009) for The Jon Dore Television Show; Best Writing on a Series (2008) for The Jon Dore Television Show; and Best Stand-up Newcomer (2006). He is also a two-time Gemini nominee (2008 & 2009) for Best Individual Performance in a Comedy Program or Series for The Jon Dore Television Show. ~~~ Thanks to our sponsor: More Bentzen Ball shows available at: Stay informed:
>>>>>>>>>>>> Ok, back to the article! >>>>>>>>>>>>


  • Halfbaked Meta Blossoms


  •  George Washington’s Pants Would Be Tight With Pride:



  •  For The Georgetown Bro Has No Problem With The Redskins Name:


  •  Marry Us, Marion:



  •  Slick Willy Style All In It:


  •  Do you have a gentrification lasting for more than 4 years?


  •  “I’m From DC”


  • H Street’s Great, But…


  •  I’ve got a raging Boehner for you:


  • Stylin On Your Ass With The Double Entendre


  •  Driving In The District Is Like Suffering A Kick Below The Beltway


  •  Speculative Shanahan Believes He Knows What’s Best For You


  •  Make My (Sandra) Day


  •  If You Love Someone. Say Something


  •  And Lastly, And Most Intensely: