Valentine’s Day Cards Only DC Could Love
BYT Staff | Feb 12, 2013 | 9:00AM |

Illustrations by Ryan Mahoney // Concepts by Peter Heyneman, Jenn Tisdale, Sniffles Manchester

Valentine’s Day, originally started in honor of Saint Valentine, is now mostly associated with the display of love, whether it be between husband, wife, or partner, or between boyfriends and girlfriends, a person to his/her emotionally dependent crutch.

Like most of our cultural rituals, Valentine’s Day has become a cash crop for many companies ( Hallmark, Lingerie stores, Chocolates companies, Jewelry shops pedaling blood diamonds, flower shops exploiting migrant workers … damn this is getting dark) to make large amounts of money by selling overpriced items.

But wait! We’re here to both save you so many and hyper-localize the word play of your Valentine’s Day cards. Enjoy these DC-specific Valentines:

  • Napoleon Complex Husbands
>>>>>>>>>>>> Here is a Featured Event >>>>>>>>>>>>
Friday 09/09
BYT Presents: Freaks and Greeks! A Nat Geo After Hours @ National Geographic
$20.00 / $30.00
Brightest Young Things presents FREAKS & GREEKS A Nat Geo After Hours! A Special Cult-Classic All-Access Party-Time National Geographic HQ Take Over! Croosh Deets: September 9th, 8pm - 12:30am The National Geographic Society 1600 M St. NW This is a 21+ event GET MORE DETAILS/TIX HERE With exclusive access to the new Nat Geo Museum exhibition: The Greeks: Agamemnon to Alexander The Great Hot jamz and vibes from: Dan Deacon (DJ set) DJ Ecotone French Horn Rebellion (DJ set) DJ Smudge Jezzibelle Jaxknife Pu$$y Noir Summer Camp MotherKnuckle DIY Greek Goddess Crowns by Panda Head Giant Flip Cup & Beer Pong by United Social Sports & more TBA! + Bars / Food Trucks / Photobooths / Lasers/ Nerd out with lightning talks from Nat Geo Explorers 3D movies to blow your fragile little mind! A big outdoor courtyard to frolick in! ~~~ Last 4 years we sold out! This is a 21+ event Get there with Lyft! Use code BYT for $10 off your first 5 chariot rides. As always, there is no dress code, but we recommend staying on theme: NERD TOGA PARTY! Guys, c'mon, this is a Nat Geo party, we have to be historically accurate, they're called Chitons. NERD CHITON PARTY! My Big Fat Greek Wedding / My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Man those movies are terrible Grease / Grease 2 / Grease 3 in New York Trojan Man / Hummus / Yogurt / Bankruptcy / Urn Stop Motion Skeletons Delta Tau Chi / Tri-Lambs / Alpha Betas    
>>>>>>>>>>>> Ok, back to the article! >>>>>>>>>>>>


  • Halfbaked Meta Blossoms


  •  George Washington’s Pants Would Be Tight With Pride:



  •  For The Georgetown Bro Has No Problem With The Redskins Name:


  •  Marry Us, Marion:



  •  Slick Willy Style All In It:


  •  Do you have a gentrification lasting for more than 4 years?


  •  “I’m From DC”


  • H Street’s Great, But…


  •  I’ve got a raging Boehner for you:


  • Stylin On Your Ass With The Double Entendre


  •  Driving In The District Is Like Suffering A Kick Below The Beltway


  •  Speculative Shanahan Believes He Knows What’s Best For You


  •  Make My (Sandra) Day


  •  If You Love Someone. Say Something


  •  And Lastly, And Most Intensely: 



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