Any given day of the week, it is really easy to find viral videos or pictures with animals in them – whether they be cute puppies tumbling down stairs or kittens speaking in a botched toddler-esque language, the Internet is fueled by animals and our love for them. But this week, the Internet has EXPLODED with a surplus of animal videos and images, as though it has finally reached maximum capacity and is trying to purge itself of excess. But let’s get real – I will NEVER be tired of Youtube videos like this.
So this week, the Internet has decided that Tops and Bottoms is for the birds.
1. Hung Top: Elephant Uses A Tablet
So, who cares if this is just a plug for the Samsung Galaxy Note? It doesn’t make the elephant any less amazing (unless, of course, you consider the possibility that many of the shots may be using a muppet-like trick to simulate an elephant trunk). If anything, it makes me want to take an impromptu visit to Africa (or, the African exhibit at the San Francisco zoo) to pay Dumbo’s kin a little visit. Or perhaps invest some money in shrink-ray technology to get myself a really teeny elephant to take around everywhere.
Does the wave at the end get you like it gets me? Oh, God, too cute.
If elephants with tablets isn’t your thing, then maybe tiny puppies named Beyoncé on smart phones is:
2. Mixed-Race Top: Animal Convention On The Porch
Youtube clips like this really put things into perspective – not only when it comes to the notion of world peace and global politics, but also silly kid flicks like “The Land Before Time.” When I was a kid, I thought the concept for five different dinosaurs banding together was the coolest thing in the world. It’s nice to see shit like that actually happening in real life. I mean, if these critters could talk, what do you think they would say? And more importantly, in this crowd, who is higher up on the food chain? I could see all of them taking the top ranking on that one.
Animals are cute … until they get hungry, like in this clip here:
See? You give them an inch and they take a mile.
3. Feeder and Breeder Bottom: Alicia Silverstone Baby-Birding Her Baby
This is both incredibly awesome and incredibly nauseating all at once. Okay, fine – not awesome at all.
If you’ve ever asked yourself why Alicia Silverstone is not in movies anymore, then here is your answer.
This is what happens when you turn vegan.
Okay, so I’m so disoriented by this clip that all I have are one-liners. Forgive me. Puking in the bathroom now … let’s just hope Little Bear isn’t anywhere near my toilet – he may try to dip his head into the bowl and get himself some lunch.
Here’s a little after-lunch story I think Bear would enjoy. What do you think? Who is the top and who is the bottom in this pic?
4. Slutty By Association Bottom: Courtney Stodden For PETA
We all agree that animals pretty much fucking rock. That is an undisputed fact. This commercial, however, makes me reconsider and think that some animals should be put down, especially when it comes to questionable owners. I mean, PETA isn’t my favorite company but this just takes them to a new low. Bring back Alicia Silverstone and her vomit-eating son. Or give me that super downer Sarah McLachlan animal cruelty video – anything but more Courtney Stodden (okay, fine, I secretly love it).
And really, Courtney? You’ve never had a burger in your life? Puh-lease. You may not have had a burger in your life, but you’ve definitely had plenty of meat inside you, that’s for sure.
Puke. I thought the gross-out Tops and Bottoms was last week?
Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day and have an AMAZON weekend, like Kirsten here: