Some weeks are harder than others to find juicy pop culture and Internet tidbits for you guys – this was not one of those weeks. In fact, there were so many sparkly gems for you that I had to crop out a few. So this week, you’re really in for a treat – you get some real awesome shit – and some really stinky shit. Either way, I know you’ll be happy. That’s why you come here, right?
1. Big Budget and Low Budget Tops: This Summer Is Going To Be Awesome And Awkward
Movie trailers for the summer of 2012 are already dropping, and it looks like it’s going to be hotter than the year you discovered MTV’s The Grind. My favorite is at top – The Amazing Spider-man. After all, the first three Spiderman films were a public fart of an embarrassment, nooffenseKirstenandTobey. It was time someone took responsibility and paid the comic books a little respect, much like Christopher Nolan did for the recent Batman flicks.
Additionally, The Avengers is coming out, which is exciting, since one of my favorite directors of all time, Joss Whedon, is at the helm for that one. What do you think – does that pizza have enough cheese on it for you?:
Personally, I think Scarlet is the Johansson that broke the camel’s back.
Everyone is talking about The Hunger Games – I didn’t read the books, I’m still kind of hung up on Animorphs and can’t get past chapter 1 of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, but I hear they’re pretty good. Check out the trailer here:
If mainstream Hollywood blockbusters with budget-breaking big names don’t bounce your balls, then check out this flick -it’s about Nazi’s who have been hiding on the moon for 70 years. Something tells me you won’t be able to catch this one in theaters, though – just a hunch:
So, what will you go see?
2. Existential Top: TV Shows Referencing One Another
Ahh – although Groundhog’s Day is one week behind us, I can’t help but feel like I’m stuck in some loop I can’t control or stop! Blegh! But a good “blegh,” because I can’t stop watching this clip. In a world of cartoons, fake reality TV, and TV shows that aren’t supposed to be real but reference other real TV shows, it’s hard to keep one eye on the blurry little line between fiction and nonfiction. I mean, that Hannah Montana clip really threw me for a loop – did you know that Hannah Montana’s dad on the show is played by Billy Ray Cyrus, Miley Cyrus’ REAL dad? BONKERS.
Okay, fine, that may be basic trivia, but it still makes you think about reality versus fiction, and how artists get to play with that line on a daily basis. Does this mean we have to agree that Hannah Montana … I mean, Miley Cyrus … is an artist?
And what about this? What is real and what is fake in this clip?:
Hint: the real has to do with the guy on the line. The fake as to do with Madonna’s singing. Bonus points for enthusiasm, though.
3. Science Fiction Is Versatile: Our Creature Obsession
The clip above was taken in Iceland of a mysterious creature swimming through the water – what that creature is remains a mystery, but everyone seems to agree that it is either some kind of giant robotic snake that NO ONE is taking credit for, or quite possibly the Loch Ness monster. Or possibly an extra from 2007′s “The Water Horse.”
That would be cute, wouldn’t it?
Additionally, this commercial produced to promote a tattoo shop, appropriately named “The Magic Fun Store,” brings the sexual appeal of unicorns humping dolphins to the forefront of our attention, adding to this week’s mythical creature popularity. Check it out – this song is already my ringtone:
If neither the Loch Ness monster nor unicorns get you all juicy then check out a former Nickelodeon artist’s rendition of CatDog pooping … kinda gross … but kinda amazing too.
4. Bad Girl Bottoms: Brandy and Monica Are Back
The truth is, when I was told that Brandy and Monica were back, I was picturing something a little more along the lines of this:
I mean, where the hell have these two been for the past decade and a half? And don’t say on “For The Love of Ray J,” because that show was just one step above public access television. Brandy and her brother were probably paying Vh1 to stay somewhat relevant.
In any case, their new song doesn’t hold a candle to “The Boy Is Mine,” in my opinion. I mean, how can you top an amazing karaoke classic? You’ve had your cake and you’ve eaten it, girls – now you’ve made your bed, so lie in it. Thanks!
Oh, what the hell – one for the road?
5. Wet and Smelly Bottom: Courtney Stodden Is Trying To Stay Relevant – And Winning
It’s a fish, it’s a submarine, it’s … Courtney Stodden in a mermaid get-up? Gross.
I think this clip speaks for itself. If mermaids say, “OMG,” kill me now. There is no promised land.
Have a great weekend … and a great week, it being Valentine’s Day and all. If your next Tuesday does not involve anything on this shelf …
… then here is a video of some goths dancing in broad daylight. I recommend turning the audio down for this clip, and play the DJ Alice song below and enjoy. It makes it so much better. Trust:
Thanks, everyone – loves you!