Rory Albanese, seven time emmy-winner, has written for the Daily Show since 1999. If that is not enough to convince you that he is hilarious, I guess you will just have to go see for yourself.
He will be preforming at Riot Act for his first time ever on June 8th. Make sure to be there!
Tickets are still on sale, but you can try to WIN a FREE pair of tickets instead!
We are giving away two pairs of tickets for the 8:00 PM show and three pairs of tickets to the 10:30 show. For a chance to win these tickets all you have to do is leave a comment telling us your favorite joke!
Our Morning Prayer . . .Our Hard Drive Which art internal Volume C by name; Thy code be clean, Thy fonts be seen On screen as they are on paper. Give us this day our documents, And lead us not into fragmentation But deliver us our data. For thine is the SCSI, And the EISA, and the NuBus, Forever and Ever, Amen.
PIRATE WALKS INTO A BAR WITH A STEERING WHEEL DOWN HIS PANTS. BARTENDER HANDS HIM A DRINK AND SAYS, ‘HEY MATE, WHAT’S UP WITH THE STEERING WHEEL IN YOUR TROUSERS?” PIRATE SAYS, “ARR. IT’S DRIVING ME NUTS.”
Who doesn’t love The Aristocrats? If you don’t know, know you know:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats_%28joke%29
Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?!?
why did the wise men have ashes on their feet?
because they came from a far. (try it with a southern accent. it makes more sense that way)
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?
Patty.
Gotta love pop-sickle jokes.
A man calls his wife and shouts, “Honey, I won 7 million dollars in the lottery! Start packing!”
The woman can hardly contain her excitement. “Oh my god, honey, that’s wonderful! Should I pack winter things or summer things?”
The man responds, “I don’t care what you pack. Just be out of the house by the time I get home.”
A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
“Well,” said a customer, “I never saw anything as peculiar as that!”
“What’s so peculiar about it?” the bartender said. “His wife sent him out for a jar of olives.”
Life is my favorite joke.