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TICKET GIVEAWAY: WANDA SYKES @ HOWARD THEATRE
March 28, 2012 | 3:15PM
Wanda Sykes is coming to DC. The actress, comedian, voice artist, writer, Emmy-Award winner, same-sex-equality activist (need we go on?) is bringing her very own comedy stand-up to the soon-to-reopen historic Howard Theatre. Do you like The Chris Rock Show? How about Curb Your Enthusiasm? Pootie Tang? Crank Yankers? Will & Grace? Listen, do you have a soul?
We’ve got two tickets to see Wanda at Howard on April 14th and she wants to MAKE YOU LAUGH. To get you pumped, here’s a clip of Larry David/Wanda Sykes “ass fetish” hilarity.
(We’re with you, Wanda.)
So, as justice for Wanda, in order to win: how would you annoy the shit out of Larry David? Aaaaaand… GO.
Never in history has an opening act been so perfect for a neighborhood demographic. Shaw = gays + blacks. So naturally, Wanda Sykes.
How would you NOT annoy the shit out of Larry David is the question! Everything annoys Larry David. Do I win?
If that didn’t get me the tickets, here are some examples of things that annoy Larry David:
1) Asking him to hold the elevator for you
2) Eating too many ice cream samples
3) Cutting in a line – any line
4) Superficial conversation
5) Having hair
screaming ASSMAN is his ear incessantly as he’s trying to change a tire
I would tell him how hilarious Jerry Seinfeld is! And how much Jerry is a comic genius to come up with Seinfeld. And then I’d say, “you were like one of the writers, right?”
I’d ask him to sign an autograph on a paper towel that I just brought out of the bathroom.
Clip my toenails while he is driving.
So are you really Jewish or do you just play one on TV?
I would groom or adjust my self every time I sat down to talk with him.
Anything from cleaning sandman from my eyes, to asking him if my nose hairs are showing, cleaning my nails, to pulling up my socks because clearly I could benefit from sock suspenders. The sock suspenders might be a bonus, side effect annoyance when I’m not around because some people call them sock garters or sock supports and the debate would further frustrate him.
Back to the grooming…he would be annoyed because I seem to do this in front of him only. He would absorb me looking spic and span when meeting others and he’ll assume that I must not care what he thinks of me to allow myself to constantly look so disheveled for him and ultimately confront me about it.
I’m not sure who this Larry David is, but I’d like tickets to see Wanda. So, I’d probably go up to him and ask: “Now, who are you again?”
I would ask him if he wants a license plate that says ASSMAN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tujqM2u-BVo
I would ask him if he wanted a license plate that said ASSMAN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tujqM2u-BVo
I recently saw Richard Lewis & Susie Essman live, so I would annoy L.D. by telling him I saw Wanda, too, and now he has to perform a standup routine for me RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
I’d stick him with a sweaty, unusable $50 bill.
I would annoy Larry David by chewing my toenails and spitting them in his direction, leaving my dog’s droppings on the side walk, and I would eat a lot of dairy. I am seriously lactose intolerant .
Sing “Friday” repeatedly on a long road trip to hell.
id approach him with a real script. no adlib or improv stuff. and the actors cant act like themselves or anything that would be considered superficial, nihilstic, or stereotypical hollywood personality. yes.
Breathing.