The only show I’ve ever liked at DAR involved indie rock’s most talented and dare I say accessible jam band, My Morning Jacket. I had barely heard any of their music when I was dragged kicking and screaming by a former friend to a venue I had written off long beforehand. Needless to say, it was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. The music was crisp, technically genius and emotional (just the way I like it). The venue swelled and ached with the sadness of Jim James’ crooning and the fullness of backing accompaniment. Truly, I could go on for several more sentences if not paragraphs. The fact remains: My Morning Jacket is a show to be seen. Period. Lucky for you, dear reader, we’ve got two pairs of lawn seats to their upcoming gig (w/Neko Case, no less) at Merriweather Post Pavillion this Friday (Aug 12).
Let’s listen to my favorite MMJ track while you try to think of a clever retort for our trivia question below, yeah?
TO WIN: Answer us this… You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?
Ready? Set? Go.
Make nickelade.
Add the following:
2 oz Vodka
2 red hot sauce
2 green hot sauce
1 dash Worcestershire sauce
0.5 oz lemon juice
1 pinch salt
1 pinch peppers
1 stalk celery
Wait! What! Who’s going to turn on the blender? How do we know it’s starting in 60 seconds. What sadistic person is going to chop up a miniature human being? We’ve got to get this sick bastards attention and convince him that he could make a fortune by selling me to science as opposed to blending me to bits. That’s the plan.
A: I would already be dead from being thrown into the blender. Proportionally, if I am “shrunk to the height of a nickel” (diameter?), which is less than an inch, and your garden variety blender’s glass is about a foot tall, that’s greater than a dozen nickels high. With my original height being 6’1″, means the drop will feel like upwards of 73 ft! Most likely wouldn’t survive that, especially if “thrown”. Oh, and then I would stop taking drugs for a while, bc that’s some f#@%ed up hallucinatin’ I’m doing there.
Hop scotch over the blades of course, all while contemplating the meaning of life…blah blah…maybe all of that playing “Skip it” in the early 90s would come to use.
Scramble to find a girl who is proportionally similar to out out with a bang. Anyone bigger would just say, “Is it in yet?”
Break the blender before the blades start moving.
I’d probably waste all sixty seconds thinking of a good answer to this question. Or if the blender is sideways (never specified!), I’d walk it out.
I’m guessing I would scream, then cry, then crap myself. Yeah, that sounds about right.
All of these answers are amazing.
Easy, watch this clip from Wet Hot American Summer for motivation and attempt to leap out of the blender. When I inevitably don’t make it, I know I would die with a very, very happy man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAtfpvoltHM
Winners selected! Check your email!