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The Chillest Moves of 2013
December 16, 2013 | 12:00PM

Pope Francis

Just when you thought Catholicism was out for the count- pedo priests, a corrupt Vatican, and oh-not-to-mention that the whole thing is make believe – here comes the chilliest pope in history who right away says he’s down with gays, the 99%, and tells everyone to chill out on taking the bible so literally. That was a chill move, Pope Francis.

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Wendy Davis

Texas was like “Let’s close basically all the abortion clinics,” and Wendy Davis is like “I have some running shoes and the heart of a lion, I’ll just filibuster this shit like Jimmy Stewart.” Now she might be the chillest governor of Texas since Ann Richards. Wendy Davis, that’s real chill.

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Sinéad O’Connor

Her first album is brilliant and ahead of its time. Her second album was a critical and commercial hit, and a total masterpiece. Her third album is a moronic EP of jazz standards. She went bat-shit insane and publicly freaked out.
Miley Cyrus isn’t qualified to straighten the Sinéad section of a record store, but she IS stupidly famous and also prematurely batshit. Sinéad was kind enough to try and steer her away from madness and shame in an open letter. Miley replied with insipid tweets, but still- Sinéad, I admire the chillness of your move.

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Tig Notaro

She brought us our comedy festival and also just listen to her voice – it’s the cadence of chill. She turned personal tragedy into universal comedy and that, dear reader, is a chill move.

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Jamie Oliver

He started as a regular ass TV chef with a dumb name but has actually become a serious activist against the poisonous fast food industry and is leading a pretty successful movement to permanently change the way these huge chains make and produce their food in America – and he’s not even American. He could just say fuck us. But he doesn’t. That’s such a chill move.

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Nick Offerman

In 2013 we saw an explosion of rustic masculinity props for impotent men to hang on the wall or put on the coffee table. What’s that, a $150 pack axe?? For all that wood you’re chopping in Logan circle?? Oh, cool aviation goggles next to that never opened field guide for edible plants next to your iPod hooked up to a gramophone.

Well, Nick Offerman does that kind of stuff, ya know, in reality. Pretty chill.

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Lou Reed

His first record was produced by Andy Warhol and is one of the most important albums ever. His last record is a perfectly bizarre and wonderful concept collaboration with Metallica. In between there is a body of work that is every bit as chill as it is challenging. In my embarrassing foray into music in my early twenties I never played guitar once without thinking of Lou. Dying isn’t chill, but his life was a real chill move.

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Jesse Pinkman

What was Jesse Pinkman when he hooked up with Walter White? A drug dealer. What was WW? An educator. What did Walt do? Give Jesse an education. By taking Jesse farther than he could ever have imagined as a drug dealer, Walt showed him that there is nothing in the meth business but death and destruction. The final exam is: Jesse has to decide to kill Walt or not, and Jesse passes with an A+ by finally walking away from Heisenberg and from this terrible world he had been stuck in. He drives off to begin his life- and that’s a chill move.

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Baratunde Thurston

This guy is from Columbia Heights and is a key figure in contemporary writing on the politics of racial identity. He’s on TV sometimes and you should listen to his episode of WTF, it’s real chilly.

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Lindsay and Cliff of GEMS

I loved them as Bird Lips. It was trippy and pretty and great. I love them as GEMS and changing their name as they swallow an E pill into their sound has been a real chill move this year.

Dogs

I gotta give a shout out to all the dogs in the world, because they have been real fucking chill about everything. They’re always happy to see us and they’re generally amped about life and food and they will let you know it! That’s a chill ass move, dogs.

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Malala Yousafzai

This woman survived an assassination attempt at 16-years-old and her message of education and peace has been reverberating across the globe, right in the face of the maniacs that tried to get her. That’s a majorly chill move.

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Tavi Gevinson

A fashion prodigy who made besties with Anna Wintour as a tween is now the creative force behind Rookie, a website with feminist writing for millennials. The world of fashion could have swallowed a lesser mind into the void of ugly materialism but not this person, the young bucks instead have a real chill and smart woman to admire. Tavi, your moves are the chillest.

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Nathan Jurgenson

This DC dude went to NYC to basically be the person that explains social media to old people that don’t get it, and to refine for us our understanding of what we do and why we do it online, eg; the modern experience. He doesn’t like to hug but that’s OK – he’s forthcoming with Likes and usually follows back which is technically a chill move.

Holly Bass

She is probably the hardest working woman in performance art, and tends live by Go Big or Go Home. She spins cohesive pieces of social inquiry that are aesthetically striking and sub textually challenging. She chills plenty.

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Chris Richards

He’s great for slaying the bigger dragons of music criticism. He’s able to lend his seasoned musicology to reviewing some of the more vapid, yet immensely popular, music acts of the day with sincerity but also droll undertones that give every review a sort of wink. A tough job, handled in a chill manner.

Pete Holmes

A great podcast turned chill TV show. It’s wholesome in spirit, but certainly not in content. A perfect anti-snark avenger. That’s what chill is all about.

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Key and Peele

A super relevant sketch comedy show that you should be watching if you’re not already. Drawing from all the great ALT sketch styles, these two fellows are consistently spot on. Laughter is chill.

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Joyce Carol Oates

The notoriously dark writer is on twitter and very active. She drops 140 nuggets of holy-shit precision. A very chill example of classic literary skill meeting the new medium. Chillzone 420.

Seamus Heaney

If you’ve never read his poems about the Bog People, you gotta get on that. Second only to Yeats in Ireland’s poetry canon, Heaney looms large in poetry in general and also died this year. He lived and he chilled.

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Marlo Meekins

Watch her vines and slowly fall in love. Deep, troubling love. Oh, but to be phone on which she vines. How chill it would be.

The baby panda

Chill on, Lil Dude.

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Seaton Smith

Our very own DC dude will be on the TV soon. Hometown heroes are chill.

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