SILF: Turkey BBQ Sandwich from Earl’s in Arlington

Courtesy of: Robyn Mincher

Oh Earl. Sweet, tangy Earl. Earl–you know the type, the pudgy, eczema-ridden, sweaty IT dude who sat in the windowless backroom with a picture of his two cats, a framed magazine cutout of Kelly Clarkson and a couple toy trains from his LBG collection on his desk. I knew this fling was wrong to pursue, for who in their right mind could justify the combination of turkey and barbeque? Why couldn’t I opt for the standard salty and smoky pork barbeque – the buff, big-chinned, dimwitted son of the CEO? But it was turkey barbeque that I wanted. No, that I needed. And by the love of Christ, I was going to get it.

Whenever my computer would break down, Earl would trudge over, smelling faintly of Aqua di Gio, coleslaw and kitty litter, and lean over me with his magical computer powers, his flabby breasts taunting my own. I couldn’t take it any longer! I’d drag him, befuddled, into the supply closet and leave two minutes later – leaving a wonderful stench of pungent sweet-glazed grilled turkey. Was it wrong? Yes. Did I care? Hell no. Albeit brief, turkey and barbeque just felt right.

Tomorrow Earl and I are going shopping at Urban.

Ingredients:
Roasted turkey
Unparalleled bbq sauce
Coleslaw
Sesame roll