All Words: Jeff Jetton
All Photos: The Cobrasnake
It’s pornweek here at brightestyoungthings.xxx and before you go getting your panties in a bunch, we’d like to take a minute to let you know that some of the content in these posts may not be suitable for work or for you to read while your 4-year old son sits on your lap and plays Angry Birds on your iPhone. If you aren’t down with the content, don’t read it.
Here’s the funny thing about the porn convention: it’s kind of like an adult movie. There’s no subtlety or pacing; no slow rise to the big surprise ending. You know what you’re there for, they know what you’re here for, they give it to you quickly so you can get it over with. Within thirty seconds of arrival at the Adult Entertainment Expo, we were already greeted by two legends of the porn industry: Ron Jeremy and Randy West, who were seated at two tables adjacent to the entrance of the exposition hall, ready and willing to greet the thousands of fans who were waiting to get in and meet their idols.
That’s right, you don’t wait to see Ron Jeremy, the biggest name in porn. You see him immediately as you walk in the door. Hell, you MEET Ron Jeremy immediately as you walk in the door.
BYT: How many years have you been coming to the show?
Ron Jeremy: [sighs heavily] Thirty years I’ve been coming to the show; thirty-two years in the business.
BYT: Favorite Metal Band?
Ron Jeremy: Too many—Guns & Roses, Poison, Van Halen, Warrant, Motley Crüe, and of course I love Metallica.
BYT: Metallica, really??
Ron Jeremy: Lars [Ulrich] is a friend of mine.
BYT: Have you seen the Metallica documentary: Some Kind of Monster?
Ron Jeremy: I have not, I’ve been meaning to.
BYT: No offense, Lars is kind of a pussy.
Ron Jeremy: Hang on a second, my phone is ringing…
And with the recieving of a phone call from a wife or a manager or someone that Ron Jeremy didn’t seem particularly happy to speak with, our interview abruptly ended. Ron spent the next five minutes arguing about something or other and taking swigs off a bottle of rum.
We figured we’d let him do his thing, he seemed ready a bit perturbed with whatever was taking place on the other end of the line and there were about 9,000 fans in line to get his autograph and explain to him how much they enjoy seeing him naked. Let’s face it, who wouldn’t down a bottle of rum when faced with the daunting task of autographing memorabilia for a line of thousands of men who have most likely masturbated to your naked pictures or videos?
Randy West was sitting at the next table over, waiting to sign autographs for fans that never seemed to really materialize. Many of the patrons who entered through the main doors made a b-line over to the Hustler tabel where a line of girls sat, Sharpee in hand, eager to chat with their fans. We couldn’t let Randy sit there all by his lonesome, so we decided to ask him some questions.
From Wikipedia: Randy West began his porn career in 1978, in the film Mystique. In August 1980 he posed as the centerfold model in Playgirl magazine; he was the first person who posed with an erection. Later he also was cast as Robert Redford’s body double in the film Indecent Proposal. He has worked with numerous porn actresses early on in their careers, including Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick. . West’s sexual performance has been likened to that of a ‘human pile driver’. He has appeared in over 1,300 films, alongside an estimated 2,500 different female co-stars.
BYT: So how long been in the industry? How long have you been coming to this show?
Randy West: I started initially in ’78 and I retired in 2005—I live in Vegas… Since I live in town, I stop by to see a couple of old friends and new faces.
BYT: 2005, a little after when the internet age started arriving in porn?
Randy White: Yeah, DVDs took over from videos, like early 2000 and the internet took over from DVD’s around 2007.
BYT: Were you into Beta Max?
Randy West: Actually, we went to VhS, we didn’t use beta max, VhS was the format of choice.
BYT: You must have a bunch of VHS tapes sitting around?
Randy West: No, I only have a couple left, but I never collected my own movies, only the ones I produced. I got rid of all the videos for the DVDs.
BYT: Have you ever thought about getting back into it?
Randy West: No, because most of the stuff is done in Los Angeles, and I just don’t like living in Los Angeles anymore. I went back in a couple times in 2007, shot three scenes—just to see if i could still do it, and I did, so I proved my point.
BYT: So you got out on top?
Randy West: Yeah, actually the three girls I worked with had a combined age of one year younger than me. I was 58, and their combined age was 57.
BYT: So what porn does Randy West masturbate to?
Randy West: Besides my Up and Cummers stuff? I like Japanese and European stuff.
And just as awkwardly as the conversation began, the conversation ended. Japanese and European stuff. We shook Mr. West’s hand, backed away slowly and made a b-line for the CostCo-sized buckets of Purell that they had on hand in the press room.
You can follow Ron Jeremy on Twitter here:
and Randy West here: