Oh, what’s that? You’re too cool for the Internet this morning?

• Today we begin with my new favorite thing on ye olde worlde wide webbe, a rockstar old lady playing spoons along to The Black keys somewhere in Australia. Just……. keep watching.
  
• First Look: a couple of stills from Django Unchained.
• Molly Ringwald just did a Q&A on Reddit, divulging the secret to eternal youth: drink the blood of younger celebrities.
  
  
• Speaking of young celebrities, here’s an ultrafun video of first celebrity appearances:
  
• Sweetlife Festival is tomorrow! In celebration, here are the 10 worst people you see at every summer music festival.
  
• Because it never gets old, here are 19 hilarious new text message fails.
• Your Art of the Day: the B&W photography of Roger Ballen

• “Today Bon Iver wrapped me in his flannel, which smelled like charred pine and licorice, and took me outside to show me a perfect spiderweb.” … It’s your new favorite tumblr, Bon Iver Erotica.
• A monogram of the entire alphabet. Kewl:

• I need these chromosomal socks NOW:

• You know what? I’m gonna need one of these too:
  
• You stay classy, Boston. Here’s How Racists On Twitter Reacted to Joel Ward’s Series-Winning Goal Against Boston.
• Suck it, haters. The 10 most satisfying cases of hecklers getting destroyed.
• Look at all of these amazing beds. LOOK AT THEM.
  
• Aaaaaaaand because I’m such a fatty, I’ll leave you with a new video wherein food raps about other food. Now where the fuck’s my bacon?
  

Oh hey! found some. ‘Til next time, keep up the good work.