Maturity? Son, you’re on the Internet’s turf now.

butts                                              butts
butts                                              butts
butts                                              butts
butts                                              butts
butts                       butts                butts
butts                       butts                    butts
butts                          butts                    butts
butts                            butts                     butts
butts                              butts                    butts
butts                                butts                   butts
butts                                butts                   butts
butts                                butts                   butts
butts                              butts                   butts
butts                            butts                  butts
butts                        butts                  butts
butts                        butts                butts
butts                        butts                butts
butts                        butts                butts
butts                        butts                butts

• WELCOME BACK TO CLASS, F*CKERS. Here’s an ultra-fun pop culture supercut of TV’s most memorable first days of school.
  Supercut: TV’s First Days of School from Flavorwire on Vimeo.
• Check out the White House recipes for Honey Ale and Honey Porter plus a behind the scenes/brewing how-to video…
• Chatroulette? CATroulette.
• Wherein grown man Mike Birbiglia answers questions from teenage girls, like whether boys like high-waisted jeans and how to get over a breakup:
  Ask a Grown Man: Mike Birbiglia from Rookie on Vimeo.
• Bacon coffee available in all Seattle’s Bests across the country? I’LL TAKE TWELVE.
• Step One: become a member of Pink Project, an Italian Disco group from the ’80s. Step Two: don cloaks and ogre masks, paint whole body green. (Inevitable) Step Three: Perform the greatest cover of “Billie Jean” known to man. (via)
  
• Your Are You Sure This Is Real Life and Not a Tarantino Film? of the Day: Woman shoots and DECAPITATES rapist who made her pregnant before dumping his severed head in village square.
• Your Metal As F*uck of the Day: Dante’s nine circles of Hell in Lego form.
  
• Lana Del Rey is going to be a screenwriter now…
  
• Neither here nor there but oddly hilarious: One episode of Honey Boo Boo’s reality show pulled in more viewers than the Republican National Convention.
• In celebration of the 50th anniversary of Warhol’s Campbell’s Soup Cans, Campbell’s is launching a line of tomato soups that look just like the series:
  
• And THANK GOD someone finally combined my two greatest loves in life, “Mad Men” and Rickrolling. Here’s the cast singing (saying?) the famous ode, wordy by word. Bless your little heart, Internet.
  

‘Til next time, keep up the brutal honesty.