Open your mind to the eternal glories of the all-holy Internet…

• If you think you’ve got what it takes to colonize Mars and haven’t been scared off by the plots of Aliens & Starship Troopers, the Mars One project is holding try-outs as early as next year.
  
• New characters in Arrested Development‘s return? YUP.
• Speaking of Ron Howard, it looks like he’ll be directing a Jay Z movie…
• Miss the Olympics already? Fret not; here are the 33 best gifs so you can relive them over and over and over in a fit of Internet joy:
  

  

• Your Badass Inspiration of the Day: vintage photos of tattooed women.
  
• (Just so long as you’re not inspired to get a tattoo on your butthole, which is apparently the next big thing. Or do. We really don’t care.)
• We have to go deeper.
  
• Restaurant reviews of the fictional restaurants in Golden Girls? It’s your new favorite tumblr, Eating with the Girls.
• Some genius designer just created these functional Donkey Kong arcade game shelves. Do want:
  
• Why do tiny adorable things warm even the coldest of hearts? Just ask The Science of Cute.
• Need proof?
  
• Canned air. Yup, it’s a thing.
• An artist created his portrait on a different drug every day. Here are the results.
  
• Your The Wire is still pretty awesome of the Day: Here’s Marlo’s phone number. If you call it, you can still reach the easter egg.
  
• And finally, here are 29 of Hollywood’s biggest movie mysteries, now solved.
  

‘Til next time, keep up the family-friendly attitude.