Good morning! Anyone else get confused between “stalactites” and “stalagmites” and “the Internet” and “interacting responsibly and respectfully in human society.”

• Best Christmas card ever? (hey, it’s Christmas somewhere in the world, right? Fuck you for trying to spread Christmas joy yearround.)

• Stereogum’s top 25 albums of 2012 (so far). Okay, but, ummm, where’s Carly Rae Jespen’s Curiosity?
• Top 10 Rock Concerts that Were Just Messed Up. They forgot to include all the times I saw one of Mike Patton’s side-projects live. All of them were pretty messed up.

• Still dreaming about Skydiving… In related news, Skydiver Becomes First To Land Without Chute
• NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Use this website to summarize to everyone how your week has gone so far
• Fuck everyone from my childhood for not building this supreme playground whale hideout

• Ready to get misty? Jim Cummings, the voice of Winnie the Pooh, calls sick children in hospitals and talks to them in Character.
• 5 Internet Annoyances That Are Way Older Than the Internet
• How D.C.-Area Neighborhoods Got Their Names

• The Ten Things Everyone Should Know About Science
• Fascinating anonymous Wikileaks editorial: My Life in Child Porn
• Top 6 Mysteries of the World Explained by Futurama
• Step up your make-out game, world. When done correctly, kissing can be the sexiest thing in the entire world.

• The Game of Thrones Cast In and Out of Character. Damn Cersei… I wouldn’t kick you out of bed, even if we were brother and sister

• Sorority houses are about to get even more passive-aggressive. Presenting the Ben & Jerry’s Euphori-Lock, An Ice Cream Pint Combination Lock

• Creative Cocktail Recipes Inspired By The Avengers (side note: sorry cool website, but everyone knows that The Incredible Hulk = Cognac + Hypnotiq)

Okay, gotta go y’all. I’ve adopted a new workout routine that I like to call 110% Vin Diesel Michael Bay Monster Energy Drink X-Games #YOLO-core Cross Training: