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RISE & SHINE: THE INTERNET TOLD ME SO…
May 17, 2012 | 8:15AM
THE INTERNET NEVER SLEEPS AND IT IS ALWAYS WATCHING.

- Hi, guys! I need your help in funding my lifetime goal of one-armed circus tricks performed around the world in a hot air balloon whilst the New York Ballet Co. performs a casual (but still coordinated) interpretive dance to Pink Floyd’s The Wall on a floating platform piloted by Slash. (The most in-depth how-to on crafting the perfect Kickstarter pitch.)
- No one will find your mid-90s porn collection if you hide it in plain sight…

- I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND TO YOU AN INVITATION TO THE PANTS PARTY………. CAN YOU TELL WE’RE EXCITED? I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT. JUST KIDDING, HERE’S THE ANCHORMAN 2 POSTER:

- And thine legacy shalt be rock n roll, fat-ass sandwiches, studded onesies and an iconically tacky palace; “Elvis” is back on the top 1,000 baby names for boys.
- Hey, boys and girls! It’s time for your Fantabulous of the Day, a moving timeline of the entire 37-year history of SNL.
- Some cotdamn genius out there just designed the Toastabag, a way to make grilled cheese inside your toaster with the grill lines but minus the goopy firehazardy (pretty sure that’s a word) mess:

- Genius:

- 12 Kids Who Are Better at Sports Than You! (I’m sorry, Buzzfeed, don’t you mean all of them?)
- Aaaaaaaaand here’s Willie Nelson covering Pearl Jam because obviously:

- Babies, dogs, food, cars, the beach + more: a case-by-case comparison of men vs. women on instagram.
- It’s your new favorite twitter handle, @DubstepSong.

- HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN?

- What’s that? You wanted something morbid? Well here’s a recipe for Beheaded Ned Stark Cake Pops!
- Hold on, gotta jump into some Adorable right here…

- And finally, here’s a NEW LEAKED STILL from Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit:

‘Til next time, keep up the good work.

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