ME: Aw yeah, Internet, you ready?

INTERNET:

• Happy almost Mother’s Day!! To celebrate, here are the best texts from mom…….
  
• HOLD ON, MOM, I know you’re expecting a call but I’ve got to finish Rise & Shine first. (10 reasons you know you were born before the Internet.)
• Super Mega Dream Shopping: designer collaborations we wish were real.
• Like a furry, waddling, adorable Jaws:
  
• Your The Future of the Day: thanks to Disney Research, everything can be a touch screen. Even water.
• And now for your Pretty Perfect of the Day, 10 reasons to ban gay marriage:
  
• Your super awesome R.I.P Supercut of the Day: every MCA opening line from every Beastie Boys song ever.
  
• Hell yeah, Friday (morning). It’s time for an 8am beer………. oh shit, where’s my bottle opener? Guess I’ll just use this Apple power adaptor instead.
• Oh hey, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. I didn’t expect to see you here with that giant paddle….
• Apropos of nothing:
  
• Your Hilarious of the Day: Cameron Diaz apparently started in soft-core smut and you can see her super funny, suuuuper early 90s (NSFW) video right here.
• And finally, can I tell you something? Coach Taylor wants to tell you something:
  

‘Til next time, keep up the good work.