Ready for the Internet’s majesty and intrigue? Thought so.

• Let’s start that week off with a pressing question we’ve all wondered at some juncture: how much money does one need to do Scrooge McDuck’s money swim?
  
• It’s Monday. Being an adult can suck. That’s why we’re giving you the latest in childhood nostalgia photos to remind you of a simpler time, like when McDonalds made pizza and robots began killing each other for our amusement.
• Your new favorite web site (now inactive, but don’t worry; it’s got a fantastic backlog). Where terrible poetry and teenage angst walk predictably hand in hand…
• The best way to deal with obnoxious spammers (before blocking, of course)…
  
• Your This Should Have Been Obvious to Begin With advice of the day: don’t make an Excel spreadsheet of prospective mates including pros, cons, addresses, slurs, notes on body type, etc… If you must, at least try oh, not sending it to the person at the top of your list who will then forward it to the entire Internet.
• Greatest profession ever:
  
• A few months ago, a friend and I sadbombed a bar by playing the mopiest songs possible on a digital jukebox–why yes you will listen to “Lua” during that skee ball championship game–my only question is, what’s the best way to sadbomb a bar owned by Conor Oberst?
• Recent rainy spell aside, spring and summer are here and by the by, did we mention they’re the best times of the year for sneaking whole bottles of booze in loaves of bread to sporting events?
  
• So apparently this is the prostitute who took down the Secret Service.
• Mythology, legacy, hubris and more: why superhero movies are more than just popcorn fare.
• Speaking of which, why don’t you test out that sexy nerd brain of yours with a superhero/villain alphabet quiz?
  
• Here’s an interesting perspective on why society needs to take photos of mundane objects/clings to experience-sharing devices like Instagram.
  
• You’re welcome.
  
• To make you feel suave (or the complete opposite of), we present a collection of every “double-oh” in every Bond film ever:
  
• And finally, here’s the greatest thing you’ll see all day/the best life advice the Internet has to give: tips for getting the best glamour shots humanly possible. Click it. Click it now.
  

‘Til next time, keep up the good work.