We did it! Go away 2013!
- 2014! Applebees! Let’s do it! Really. Let’s do it. Seriously. Let’s drop all the pretending and do what we love, which is spending NYE at Applebees in Times Square. It’s worth the $375 ticket. It’s worth 10x that. Let’s do it.
- By the end of 2014, you might know what your dog is saying. Really. Or not. I can’t tell if this is a joke. Is this a joke? Do I not ‘get’ Scandinavian humor?
- If you’re going to buy an animatronic band, you should definitely program them to play “Pop, Lock and Drop It.” Really. Do this. Please. I will come over and high five you at all times because you rule.
- It’s important to be a ‘real man’ in 2014. That pretty much means be nice and wear nicer clothes and don’t eat garbage and generally handle your shit. That’s it. The regular. Be nice. Choose life and whatever.
- People are upset Beyonce sampled the space shuttle Challenger disaster because, you know, it’s a disaster.
- Finally, let us celebrate the wonderful idea that is Pornhub Comments on Stock Photos. It was a very good year.
‘Til next time, it’s almost here…