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NYC Best Weekend Bets!
May 30, 2013 | 12:30PM

OH HEY WOWOWOWOW IT’S THE WEEKEND! This actually shouldn’t be surprising; we had a four day work week, and so the weekend NATURALLY should’ve arrived quickly. (But I will savor the moment anyway.) So this weekend Gummo is playing, hence the theme, hence this is literally the best ever. So let’s get going, shall we? Okay here we go:

First things first, though, aka some PSA’s just pour vous:

Okay NOW here we go:

THURSDAY

  • I vote we start things off affordably, ’cause the weekend’s comin’ and we need to conserve our dollars for booze and other poor life decisions. FIRST, we can try to hit up Urban Outfitters on Broadway for a FREE Charli XCX show, which (wait for it) will include free booze ‘n free food. Like…impossibly good deal, and likely equally as impossible to get into.
  • Should we be unable to take advantage of THAT amazing deal, though, there’s always a solid backup at Mercury Lounge, where Snowden will be playing a show for just $10.
  • And if we can’t get into THAT, it’s likely we’ll be able to find seats at Videology for a FREE screening of Airborne, featuring a mega-young Seth Green and (roller) blades of glory!
  • Are you still hung up on the free booze, though? Well, that’s entirely understandable. SO, let’s hit up Cielo for an hour of free dranks from 10-11pm, PLUS a show from Honey Dijon & Tom Peters, all zero dollars w/ RSVP.

  • Too uptown for you? Well what about Kenmare? You can catch an hour of free booze PLUS super good tunes over at the Supernatural Remix Release Party at Lil Charlie’s. (WOOOOO!)
  • But HOLD THE MOTHER EFFING PHONE, ’cause there’s an adult prom happening over at the Knitting Factory in Williamsburg, and we WILL go and we WILL be awkward.
  • Were you a genius in high school and don’t feel the need to revisit the prom? WELL, maybe you should hit up a beer science class in which you can flex those big, alcoholic brain muscles!
  • Let’s face it, though; our brain muscles won’t function without food, so let’s hit up the JamAsia four-course meal over at Bowery Station! #FUEL

FRIDAY

  • First, I think it’s pretty obvious that we should spend our Friday evening in the company of none other than BILLY IDOL. The show will take place at the Capitol Theatre, and tickets will set us back between $35 and $95.
  • Then again, we’ve also got the option of a Dandy Warhols sow at Terminal 5; this one will cost us about $30 per ticket, which is still (mostly) within budget range.
  • Since it’s unlikely we have ANY of those funds, though, I’m going to steer us in a more affordable direction. First, if we set our alarms mad early, we can catch a 98 Degrees / New Kids On the Block / Boyz II Men show at TODAY!
  • If we’re trying to plan a little more for the evening, I vote we hit up Body Actualized Center in Bushwick for a $5 Octo Octa show that’s sure to be weird in the best way.
  • The #NYCPOPFEST also kicks off this week, so let’s consider popping over to the Knitting Factory for a $15 show by The Very Most and MORE!
  • Then again, we could just get our dance on at Glasslands tonight, where we can pay a mere $10 and gain entry to a Moon Boots show. (YESSSSSSSS.)

  • And if we can somehow scrounge up $20, we’ve also got the option to pop over to Highline Ballroom for an Azari & III show that’s sure to be mega-danceworthy.
  • Too tired after a long work week? Let’s just chill out at the movies! For instance, Airport 1975, is playing tonight at Nitehawk, and even if we weren’t going for the film, the screening is automatically worthwhile for the in-person intro by Alan Cumming. WE LOVE YOU ALAN!
  • If you just went, “Nuh-uh, we DON’T love you, Alan Cumming,” then 1) we probably can’t be friends, and 2) maybe we should just check out a screening of Gummo at Sunshine Cinema! (Note: while I really love this movie, I DON’T really love that I can never eat spaghetti ever again. If you haven’t seen it, you probably should, but be prepared to mega-barf from time to time.)
  • But then again, free booze is pretty critical, yeah? Well, get a dose of art whilst imbibing, ’cause that’s exactly what’s in store for you at the ‘Alchemy in Revolution‘ Mural Launch Party, party of the Bushwick Open Studios programming.

SATURDAY

  • Tonight, I think we should DEFINITELY hit up Glasslands for a DJ set from Goldroom AND Plastic Plates; it’s going to be full of good tunes, and tickets are just $10 a pop.
  • ALTHOUGH, if we didn’t get enough of that free TODAY show yesterday, we can pay between $35 and $95 to catch 98 Degrees, Boyz II Men and NKOTB at Nassau Coliseum tonight.
  • Personally, I vote a FREE Octo Octa show happening as part of the Bushwick Open Studios programming at Bossa Nova Civic Club. HOORAY, BUSHWICK!
  • Okay, so it’s not ENTIRELY free, but I think we can PROBABLY scrounge up the $2 it costs to catch a screening of Beetlejuice at Videology tonight, right? RIGHT?!
  • And while we’re on the subject of movies, let’s watch Best In Show at Nitehawk! (I have an even higher appreciation for this film after having attended the Dog Show at Madison Square Garden this year, so there’s no way I’m not attending. CURSE YOU, BUSY BEE!)
  • If you’re a little more OLD SKOOL, though, then we can also check out a screening of the original King Kong at MoMA! Hooray for a black and white film that scarred me for life! Legitimately, though, I have a fear of apes that I believe stems from having watched this around the age of four. (Horror ensued.)

  • Similarly OLD SKOOL is a screening of Citizen Kane, also at MoMA today. ROSEBUDDDDDDD! (This is hailed as one of the best films of all time, and while I don’t know that I’d rank it as one of my favorites, I definitely appreciate that it’s a mega-classic that everyone should see. So do it.)
  • OR if you’re OLD SKOOL / NEW SKOOL, probably hit up a showing of O Brother, Where Art Thou at Nitehawk; George Clooney’s had his cinematic ups and downs, but this one (for me, at least) was a home run. So let’s R-U-N-O-F-T and watch it or whatever!
  • Personally I vote for this weekend’s second round of Gummo at Sunshine Cinema! Double the chances to be scarred for effing life!
  • We can also catch an open bar from 9-10pm tonight at Yotel for Miami Vice Saturdays, which will likely be our new go-to for weekly free booze! All you have to do is send an email RSVP here.
  • OR OR OR, let’s hit up the 404 in Bushwick for some mega-interesting BOS programming, which, though top secret, I have complete faith in.

SUNDAY

  • Remember that time that King Tuff did an interview and talked about ToeJam & Earl for like three hundred years? Yes, so let’s go hang out with him tonight, okay?
  • OR let’s swing by Littlefield for another round of NYC Popfest, this time featuring Ski Lodge and just about a million other acts.
  • We can also catch Holly Miranda at Glasslands tonight for JUST $10! Kind of unheard of! She’ll be playing alongside Timmy Mislock, Joseph Reuben and MORE.
  • But we’re all going to be mega-hungover today, right? Let’s soak up all that residual alcohol by signing ourselves up for a Katz’s pastrami eating contest! (Gross! Delicious! All of the things!)

  • And while we’re thinking of popping over to the DayLife Festival, I think it’s probably worth our time to cruise the other events happening there, ’cause it’s all free.
  • PLUS we’ve got the Ultimate Science Street Fair happening today for free in Washington Square Park, so let’s also consider getting our nerd on in a big way.
  • But let’s get back to being hungover and likely feeling like we want to spend our day in a dark movie theater. We’ve got ANOTHER screening of  O Brother, Where Art Thou at Nitehawk, so I say LET’S DO IT.
  • Not into that one? Well SURELY you’re into round two of Best In Show also at Nitehawk! Because I mean…dogs are great on their own, but PARODIES about dogs?! Even better.

WOW SO MUCH STUFF! Did I forget something, though? Tell me all about in the comments and/or on Twitter. BYE!

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