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NYC Best Weekend Bets!
April 18, 2013 | 12:30PM

WHOA WHOA WHOA (said in Joey Lawrence voice) the weekend is FINALLY here! And do you know what ELSE is here? The Tribeca Film Festival! We’re super excited to be bringing you coverage from that, but we’re ALSO super excited that this is a solid weekend in general for film screenings! In fact, that’s why we’ve chosen Showgirls as our GIF theme; apart from being the most amazing movie of all time, it’s screening at Nitehawk on Friday. #AMAZING So let’s get going, yeah?

But FIRST, let me give you three little PSAs:

  • We’ve announced that May’s One Step Beyond at the American Natural History Museum is going to be EPIC, featuring Obey City, Falty DL, AND a DJ set from JAMES BLAKE! It’s all going down on May 10th at the Rose Center for Earth and Space, so grab tickets now before they’re all snapped up.
  • Next, we’ve got a very handy guide to the films screening at the Tribeca Film Festival, which should help lessen the terror induced by the overwhelming lineup.
  • Finally, we’re co-presenting an AMAZING Robyn-themed party with Silent Drape Runners on Tuesday, and we’ve got some excellent Robyn swag we want to give to you fo’ FREE. All you have to do is harness your intoxicated energy and make a YouTube video or a Vine of you and/or amigos dancing to “Call Your Girlfriend”. Regardless, we’ll see you Tuesday at The DL for this free phenomenon.

HERE WE GO:

THURSDAY

  • First up, we’ve got Ivan & Alyosha (one of our favorites) playing Santos Party House tonight for an unbelievable $10. (We should probably definitely go.)
  • SPEAKING of unbelievable, Ava Luna and Lushlife are playing a free show over at the Brooklyn Museum, which is SO ECONOMICAL!
  • Of course, if we can scrape together $25, we also might want to consider checking out Olafur Arnalds at Le Poisson Rouge this evening…
  • ALTHOUGH, On an On are at the Knitting Factory tonight with Black Onassis for just $12, which is a pretty amazing bargain if I do say so myself.
  • Want an even better deal, though? Pop over to Public Assembly for The Mast and Nitemoves, which will set you back a mere $7. UNHEARD OF.

  • And while we’re on the subject of Public Assembly, let’s stick around for Dead Leaf Echo, who are playing a show for just a buck more! #VALUE
  • UNLESS we feel like forking over $2 extra at Cameo Gallery for a Maria Minerva EP release show, in which case we should probably do that instead.
  • But who wants to spend money when there’s a FREE screening of The Birds?! (Answer: NO ONE.) This mega classic is part of the Tribeca Film Festival, and will be held outdoors, meaning it’s PERFECT for us to be extra paranoid about the possibility of bird attacks! #FEAR #GREAT
  • Speaking of free movies, though, tonight we’ll have had four full days of work week frustrations, so let’s go get out our aggression at Videology for a complimentary screening of No Holds Barred. (Because WRESTLING and HOGAN KNOWS STUFF OR WHATEVER!)

FRIDAY

  • Provided we can keep our energy levels up until 11:59pm, I vote we swing by Brooklyn Bowl for ANOTHER amazing edition of French Horn Rebellion‘s residency there; special guests will include Body Language, members of Savoir Adore and Penguin Prison, etc.!
  • OR if we would prefer to trek it out to New Jersey for ANOTHER Muse show this week, then we should PROBABLY consider heading over to IZOD Center.
  • Personally, I’d rather hit up a screening of The Fifth Element at Sunshine Cinema. I mean, Bruce Willis, the future, impending doom…what’s not to like?
  • But HOLD THE EFFING PHONE, ’cause Showgirls is screening at Nitehawk tonight just after midnight, and there is NO WAY we’re not going to go watch Nomi fuck shit up. #SOEXCITED #SOEXCITED #SOSCARED

  • SPEAKING of Nitehawk, we’ve ALSO got a screening of Fear and Loathing at 12:20am, so let’s get ready to stay up way past our bedtimes with the likes of Johnny Depp.
  • Too expensive? There’s also a semi-equally amazing FREE screening of Beetlejuice at the World Financial Center Plaza; this one’s also part of the Tribeca Film Festival, meaning we get to go sprawl out in the semi-great outdoors to hang w/ Winona Ryder and Alec Baldwin. REJOICE!
  • That might be too lowbrow for you, though; instead, let’s get intellectual about pot at powerHouse Arena, where they’re hosting a book launch for Marijuan-America by Alfred Ryan Nerz! (BECAUSE 4/20!)
  • Speaking of books ‘n words, let’s head on over to Le Poisson Rouge for what’s sure to be an entertaining-yet-slightly-uncomfortable presentation of erotic poetry and prose!

SATURDAY

  • Today let’s kick things off on a cultural high note at Nitehawk; F for Fake is screening at noon for brunch, and it will be artsy AND delicious. We won’t even feel like we have to do anything productive after such intellectual stimulation! (Thanks, Orson Welles!)
  • But HOLD THE PHONE, ’cause it’s 4/20, and we most definitely need to spend the entire day snacking at the 1st Annual NYC Hot Sauce Expo! There will be spicy eating challenges and plenty of vendors to sample, PLUS it only costs $10 to attend. (AMAZING.)
  • UNLESS we prefer our munchies to be slaked with fermented vegetables, in which case maybe we ought to enroll in this Brooklyn Artery class that covers kimchi and sauerkraut basics!
  • We could ALSO celebrate with a FREE outdoor screening of Lil Bub & Friendz at World Financial Plaza; the show starts at 6pm, and will be put on by VICE as part of the Tribeca Film Festival HOORAY!
  • PLUS we’ve got a Half Baked day party at Brooklyn Stable, featuring music, live art, people who may or may not be stoned, etc.!

  • In terms of ACTUAL spending, it’s likely we unloaded most of our money on drunk pizza last night. SO, let’s consider a very affordable $12 Light Asylum show during which we can dance off all that residual cheese.
  • For even LESS money (read: $2 less) we can catch a TEETH show at Glasslands tonight, and it will be (as always) INCREDIBLE!
  • BUT if we’re feeling flush tonight, let’s hit up a $35 STS9 show at Roseland Ballroom instead; they’ll be playing alongside Eliot Lipp. (WOO!)
  • ALSO for $35, we’ve got an Aimee Mann / Ted Leo show at Webster Hall; seeing as Aimee Mann is AWESOME, we should definitely consider this as a serious option.
  • Maybe you’re more into an eclectic mix of 90s pop gems, though, in which case we should all head over to Union Hall for a very special (brownie?) 4/20 edition of Crazy Since Da 90$. (You know it’s EXTRA crazy because of the $…)

SUNDAY

  • Today let’s begin again at Nitehawk; F for Fake is screening for a SECOND time this weekend at noon for brunch, so we should probably go.
  • Afterwards we can check out the ol’ zine scene over at Public Assembly, where they’ll be hosting the 2013 Brooklyn Zine Fest, featuring over eighty writers from 11am-6pm.
  • UNLESS we decide to brave day TWO of the 1st Annual NYC Hot Sauce Expo, during which we can look forward to a spicy cookie eating challenge, a spicy BROWNIE eating challenge (that would have been more appropriate yesterday, but whatever), AND a spicy Bloody Mary mix downing challenge.
  • If we’re STILL hungry after all that spice, let’s go snag some sweets at this vegan bake sale that’s going down at Gristle Tattoo today, yeah? Proceeds will go to BARC! #CALORIESFORCAUSES
  • Show-wise, all we have to worry about tonight is a very affordable $5 Drowners album release show at Brooklyn Bowl. (LET’S DO THIS.)

  • But I bet we’re super hungover, in which case maybe we ought to consider continuing the dark theater hangouts all day during a SECOND screening of The Fifth Element at Sunshine Cinema. (IT’S HAPPENING.)
  • Not into Bruce Willis? (WEIRDO!) Okay, we’ve got a mega classic screening at BAM today, so let’s go watch some brats eff up their lives via drinking and scandal in Written on the Wind, yeah? (And then maybe we won’t feel so bad about whatever it is we don’t remember doing last night.)
  • BUT WAIT A MINUTE, ’cause there’s a tribute to the works of David Lynch and Angelo Badalamenti at Le Poisson Rouge featuring music from Twin Peaks, Eraserhead, Mulholland Drive, Wild at Heart and MORE!
  • If we’re feeling particularly artistic today, though, I vote we swing by LaunchPad for a $5 (suggested donation) edition of Drink and Draw in which BYOB is both welcomed and encouraged! #BUDGETBOOZE
  • SPEAKING of BYOB, Bat Haus will play host to the Presentation Party tonight, featuring free booze (provided by Brooklyn Brewery) and free snacks (provided by Brooklyn Salsa Co.) in addition to whatever you want to bring on your own. PLUS there will be plenty o’ intellectual discussion regarding topics from roller derby to particle astrophysics! #SMART

SO MUCH STUFF! Did I miss anything, though? Well TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT in the comments and/or on Twitter and/or through creative interpretations of the pronunciation of Versace! (Preferably the latter, though.)

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