Oh my god you guys, I literally don’t need to tell you to go anywhere or do anything this weekend, because Public Assembly’s got it ALL FIGURED OUT for an incredible party Saturday night. But just in case you for some unfathomable reason aren’t into nostalgia and/or Sweet Valley High, then I GUESS I will tell you about some other options, which begin tonight:
- First off, let’s go support World AIDS Day at this rumored Chromeo DJ Set.
- After we finish there, let’s head east to Webster Hall for Tanlines!
- Although maybe we didn’t get enough of Other Lives last night, in which case we’ll have to head WAY east, all the way to Williamsburg; they’ll be playing again with Indians at Music Hall of Williamsburg.
- Not into the $16 price tag and/or going to Brooklyn? Stick around the LES for Hooray for Earth, Cymbals Eat Guitars AND Zambri for just $12 at Pianos.
- OR for zero dollars, we could zip over to Public Assembly for this FREE EP Release Party for Telephoned! That’s like, (Sammy) B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
- Then again, if we’re less into music and more into comics, then we should DEFINITELY head to this free Indie Comics Night, in which we check out the amazing illustrations of three talented artists who are much better at drawing than we are!
- But if we feel like all that artistic talent would make us feel terribly about our own skill sets, then let’s go drown our sorrows in free booze! For instance, the Wired Store is celebrating its launch with (what appears to be) free Heineken and vodka.
- PLUS, there’s a VICE party that’ll be serving up free drinks in celebration of the Motherboard Relaunch. #VALUE
- Let’s definitely start off the evening on the cheap at Mercury Lounge, where VHS Or Beta will be performing FREE.
- There’s also Sam Sparro at Webster Hall, which costs $20 but is (probably) going to be worth it.
- ALTHOUGH, I vote we go crash Barnard’s Goth Cruise, featuring acts like Midnight Magic, also FOR FREE! (Goth and/or formal attire encouraged…)
- Of course, if you’re more of a Brooklyn person, you can head to tonight’s FADER-curated lineup at Brooklyn Nights Bazaar, featuring Rockie Fresh and Jim E. Stack. (FREE FREE FREE!)
- OR, if you’re more into art, then probably head to “Gifts of the Magi,” in which there will be art AND free refreshments.
- We can also go pump up our brain strength at this lecture, given by Julia Grnnevet and Kristin Dombek. (See also: sex, drugs, and Ryan Gosling in Williamsburg…what more could you ask for?!)
- But HOLD THE MOTHER EFFING PHONE, ’cause there’s a GangNam Style contest we can enter tonight!
- Speaking of K-Pop, though, we could ALSO go learn to cook a traditional Korean meal at Whole Foods Bowery…
- “That’s great, Megan, but what about the ALCOHOL?!” God, is that ALL you have on your brain these days? Well, you’re in luck, because there’s this beer pong tournament that we’ll probably go to later this evening.
- If Guyanese food is more your jam, though, then we can head to Dunwell Doughnuts in Brooklyn for a demonstration on how to cook ALL THE GUYANESE THINGS.
- As I mentioned in the intro to this post, the ONLY thing we need to do tonight is go to Public Assembly for Kidz Bop; apart from featuring Silent Drape Runners and our buddy Adam Schatz, the listed dress code is “Sweet Valley Prom,” so we basically have to have to HAVE TO go.
- However, speaking of SWEET things, let’s swing by the oldest house in New York for St. Nicholas Day! We’ll enjoy all sorts of Dutch traditions we don’t understand, but which result in lots and lots of free, delicious cookies! (See also: WHAT UP, PEPERNOTEN!)
- And now that we’re in the mood for holiday situations, let’s dress up our dogs as Santa and take them to this Howl-i-day party! (Side note: I almost bought my dog a chicken costume when I was home last week but ultimately refrained.)
- Of course, if we’re more in the mood to shop for presents, then we should probably head to the fifth annual Holiday Handmade Calvacade. (I can pretty much guarantee there will be no repeat gifts here.)
- “I hate giving and/or receiving gifts, Megan.” ME TOO. So, let’s just skip that whole shopping part and eat fo’ FREE at this Fusicology event!
- After such a long night, though, it’s only natural we’ll be in need of a drink. SO, let’s go to this event, titled Night Cap, which is a late-night beer, liquor and wine tasting.
- After we’ve sorted our hangovers today, let’s bop over to Webster Hall for TITUS ANDRONICUS. (You really can’t not say Titus Andronicus in all caps, by the way…)
- OR we can hole up at Brooklyn Bowl for a Talib Kweli show. Just $15!
- But eff that, because we HAVEN’T sorted our hangovers today, meaning we’ll just have to drink and/or eat more. Let’s start off the night by eating pie and shopping!
- We can ALSO go eat an eff ton of sugar at this holiday cookie swap meet, which should be a good time had by all.
- OR, getting back to shopping, we can also head to Bushwick for a jewelry sale complete with what appears to be free drinks. See also: NOT BAD.
WOW SO MUCH STUFF! If I missed anything, please nudge me about it in the comments and/or on Twitter @BYTNYC.