This past week, Kirk Cameron busted out from nowhere to let you know the gays are not all right. Ooooookay.
Gay Icon of the Week: Childhood TV SHOWDOWN
Before we go on, can we all agree the title Growing Pains is obviously meant to be a gay porn title? Not much would need to change, especially with a daddy star name like Alan Thicke. But… this is not what we’re here to discuss.
A few days ago, Kirk Cameron (btw please don’t drag DJ Tanner into this) went on the poor man’s doppelganger of Colin Firth’s show to hate on the gays. Ugh, can we all just collectively say HOW RUDE?!
Luckily, we got some help. His onetime costar Tracey Gold stepped in and e-bitch slapped him on Twitter, others followed, and I think Rush Limbaugh called him a slut.
But you know what really grinds my gears? You KNOW he’s being all smarmy, thinkin’ we’re crushed that our childhood boners were for nothing. PLEASE. Raise your hand if you had a Mike Seaver crush? NO ONE. In fact, let’s go over the real heartthrobs who we will just assume love the gays (btw we’re skipping Zach and Slater, too obvious).
The hot, musical dudes from California Dreams (especially the slightly acne-scarred Aaron Jackson):
The offbeat and sensitive ladder climber, Sam, from Clarissa Explains it All:
I think my thing for dark features stemmed from the hot guy from Are You Afraid of the Dark? (I’m talking to you, back right corner):
The wholesome and scholarly boys of Breaker High (oh hey Ryan Gosling):
And, of course, the homoerotic yet competitive friendship of Jason and Tommy from Power Rangers:
So step aside, Kirk. We don’t need your support.