Ummmmm, not sure if you saw the internet blow up yesterday. Did you see it? Did you see the Prez? SUPPORTING GAY MARRIAGE? Did’ja?  In fact, all social media/news/RSS feeds stopped working to drink a cocktail with every queer to cheers POTUS for being an amazing person; not just a political leader, but a human leader.

Barack, here’s to you:

You know Obama is going to be gay partying this weekend, so you might as well get started. Pull out that gay card! This is the time when you can use it without regrets. Sample call out for tomorrow: ‘Gurl, I can’t work today. Obama said he luvzzz me and my future wife/husband, which means I gotta eat these eggs and get to da club.’

Now for the good stuff. We got an Obama/Unicorns/Marriage/MegaGay theme to welcome you to your weekend!

Thursday

• The Renwick Gallery (that one NW from the White House) is hosting Handi-hour for all you drunk crafters out there. Let’s be honest, give us drinks and we’ll do anything.

• There is an art book exhibition at the Corcoran which looks cute as a button just like those nerd/art students.

Friday (is mega packed, so you know, pick your poison)

• Truckeroo Food Truck Festival Kick Off will be at Fairgrounds. Food from trucks, better than from 18th street on a Friday night. ::Jumbo Slice, I’m looking right into your pepperoni eyes.::

• Look Up! Night Street Fair is at the Old Post Office Pavilion. It’s a celebration of street arts. Not like tagging, but like puppeteers or those weird people that dress up like a robot and terrify you when give them money. And our very own Cale will be DJing.

• Hey, babes, shop local, it’s good for the community and jobs and all that good stuff. And, what would you do without a drunk stumble to get a Jumbo Slice at 3 after drinking too much. ::Still looking at your pepperonis, Jumbo Slice.:: There is a Do Good Summit at  GWU which will focus on supporting local businesses.
• BAHAHAHAHAHA. CELEBRATE COPS WEEK WITH NAKED GAY COPS. They moonlight at hookers this one time a year.

• You MUST go to this Hirshhorn After Hours Happening to see Song 1. If you haven’t seen it, you have to bring a date to make out with, b/c it’s really beautiful, even if it’s a bottle of wine that you kiss.

Saturday

• CRAFTS CRAFTS CRAFTS. Bloomingdale Spring Craft Sale at Big Bear.

• Then hit up Conner Contemporary for a show by Leo Villareal. He’s the artist that made that sparkly lights piece in the concourse between the East and West wings of the National Gallery. You know, the one that make you cry, then get dizzy and pass out. Might want to bring a helmet, just in case you get the spins.

• Idk what to write about Mixtape, because it’s just so amazing every time. Words have no meaning when your body moves involuntarily to Matt and Shea’s beats. Keep that helmet on, just in case.

Sunday

• Guil-Tea Kick Off Party is at Nellie’s. Don’t we all need more sweet tea vodka spritzers in our lives?

As always, if you need MORE MORE MORE, you can find every event you ever wanted right on AllCity.