2294851026_15e3d0818f
Comeback Kids: Things That Need to Return in 2013
January 10, 2013 | 1:30PM

All words: Stephanie Breijo, Shauna Alexander, Svetlana Legetic, Andy Johnson

 

This week, this magnificent, glorious week, marks the return of some MAJOR pop culture dreams; the kind of dreams we’ve held in our hearts since Justin Timberlake said he’d never record music again. The kind of dreams that combat the whole Bowie-Is-Dying rumor. The kind of dreams that announce a new Pulp record, some of which is produced by James Murphy himself.

It’s been a whirlwind week and it’s only Thursday. All of these fantasies coming true (pinch us, no, don’t) got us thinking about trends long gone; the kinds of fantasies we long to make a comeback in 2013, though don’t get us wrong–we’re grateful for Justin Timberlake releasing music with Jay-Z and Beyonce and a new Bowie album AND a just-confirmed Destiny’s Child album. We just want MORE. MORE. MORE. Here are some of the things we need, nay demand in 2013:

 

1. Outkast Reunion

Let’s be honest, if PULP can get their act together, Outkast can reunite Big Boi and André 3000. We’re fans of Big Boi smoking weed (and possibly collaborating) with Modest Mouse, but we long for the days of that explosive jazz/funk/rap/hip-hop/pop combo that this duo got so, so right. And FutureSex/LoveSounds, Timberlake’s last full-length release, debuted in 2006; so did Idlewild. Coincidence? We think not. Come back, Outkast. The world needs you.

YouTube Preview Image

2. Physical Cat Fights

Social media is great and, more specifically, watching some words, death threats and even diss songs go back and forth can be enjoyable as all hell, but we’re beginning to think celebrities with beef are just hiding behind their avatars. Gone are the /take-out-the-earrings, hold-my-bag celebrity showdowns of yore. (Granted they still exist, though not as frequently.) This last week we saw female rappers Azealia Banks and Angel Haze duke it out over Twitter and we had fun watching, sure, but ladies, put down your phone/laptop/ipad and rip out a weave like you mean it in 2013.

 

3. Will Smith

Admittedly, Justin Timberlake’s return to music was numero uno when we fantasized about actors/musicians coming back to the studio but like a greedy child, we’ve gotten a taste and demand more. We don’t want a full-on album, Will. It doesn’t have to be Big Willie Style (and we’d hope it isn’t Lost and Found), but one single cheesy movie rap is all we need. Men in Black III? You gave that shit to Pitbull? You know he ain’t cheesy like you. Not the same, not acceptable.

YouTube Preview Image

 

4. Get Motherfuckers Back on the Moon

Yeah, we went up there and fooled around a little bit with buggies and beakers, but the time is ripe for moon casinos. If I’m going to blow my life savings on something stupid, it should be lunar roulette.

tumblr_mg4d71siJj1r2r4sbo1_500

 

5. Wesley Snipes.

Free Wesley.

 

6Paula Abdul

Straight up don’t tell us you didn’t really love her songs forever, Oh! Oh! Oh!  Those dance moves! That hip cat!  What was there not to love? Plus Paula’s been ever so silent since her departure from American Idol, it’s time this ’90s Pop Queen takes aim at reclaiming her throne.  Even more so since Glee has been totally ripping off the Cold Heart Snake vibe all season.  BRING BACK PAULA!

 

7. The Libertines

Back in August, the NME leaked a story that drug-addled raconteur rocker Pete Doherty and smooth-voiced laddie Carl Barat were set to write some songs under a Parisian skyline.  This is the stuff made of (my!) britpop dreams.  The Libertines! Back together! Say it ain’t so!  And with a 10 year anniversary freshly under their belt, it’s only time before the duo are back on stage cussin’ each other out.

YouTube Preview Image

 

8. Postal Service

Ben Gibbard spent the better part of 2012 telling everyone this will not happen, but with GIVE UP officially going platinum for Sub Pop last year and the record teetering on that 10 year reunion mark–we are keeping our fingers very crossed.

 YouTube Preview Image

 

9. My So-Called Life

We think it is an abomination that BOY MEETS WORLD is more likely to get a comeback of sorts than MSCL. With Claire Danes owning TV right now, and Jared Leto definitely in need of work (right?) the time is NOW for an early-30s biological meltdown update.

 

 

10. The Death of Furby

Remember when the Furby craze had long died out and the terrifying blinking/talking/gurgling/all-seeing synthetic creatures fell off our collective pop culture radar? For some godforsaken reason, Hasbro decided it would be great to bring back a toy with a tagline of “A mind of its own,” which in reality is only bringing us closer to a robot apocalypse. Way to go, guys. (We’re aware that this is asking for the death of a comeback, so consider this entry somewhat of a double-negative. Loopholes!)

tumblr_mged792Sve1qm84zxo1_500

 

 

11. A Return to mid-’90s Comedic Greatness

While we will acknowledge that Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler are both passable dramatic actors, the highs of Punch-Drunk Love and Man on the Moon cannot compare to their monumental—dare I say epochal?—achievements of sucker-punching Bob Barker and literally breaking through a rhinoceros’s anus.

 

12.  Dave Chappelle

Where have you gone, Dave Chappelle? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. (Woo, woo, woo.)

 

Did we leave any out? Let us know in the comments what you’d like to see make a glorious return this year…

Comments:

Your Email Address Will Not Be Published

Recent Comments:
  • blhkazrxs says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Nike Air Max Mens Cheap
    The advantages of FEA are wide ranging and important. A new design concept might be modeled to determine its real world behavior under various load environments, and may therefore be refined prior to the advance of drawings, when few dollars have been committed and changes are usually inexpensive. Once a comprehensive CAD model has been developed, FEA can analyze the design in more detail, saving time and money by reduction of the number of prototypes required.

    You can find million of Czech singles waiting online to meet their date thus visiting these free of charge dating sites today to discover your other half. Czech girls regarding dating search for guys in local declares or long distance states. You need to place searching criteria for where ever you want your day will be.

    Many folks believe that these credit reporting organizations have way too much power and there’s very little recourse when something turns up on a credit report which shouldn’t be there. Miller’s situation is just one of many nightmares that people are put finished their credit acquiring mixed up with someone else. These days folks realize that there exists a way for recourse, nonetheless long and long, the justice system gave them ammunition to fight back..
    Buy Cheap Nike Air Max 1
    Blogging for Awareness. Your high school student is spending hours each week volunteering in numerous community service applications, but what do they have to show for it? Speak to your teen about beginning a high school local community service blog. Your blog will serve as a variety of memories and a useful resource for other students looking for community services opportunities.

    Up to now indicator technology has been produced primarily for army applications, but Amazon and Ford (F) are eager to adopt its many utilizes to consumer items as well. Retail can also be getting into the indicator industry. Elizabeth Dwoskin and also Greg Bensinger report in The Wall structure Street Journal that “in dozens of US malls small gadgets could keep tabs on shoppers’ cell phones.

    Their own fears were quitened when they saw John’s number 22 sitting on the actual bench off to the side. Joey’s heart dropped because he realized John would not be able to deliver about his birthday desire. Late in the next quarter one of John’s teammates required Paterno aside and advised him of John’s special birthday promise.
    Air Max Trainers Sale
    Both of these video games are usually educational. The best part that the kids are having a lot fun that they will not even realize they are learning something. Both of these learning systems are made for ages 3 7. There’s hardly a evening that goes by that these time wasters are not broadcast. They have no social benefit other than creating better profits for the send out station as well as the corporate entity that gets the air period. This is just another example of how corporate branding practices are profoundly interwoven in our mass media and pop culture..

    This book is made by way of a quant for quants and is very math heavy. It is suggested for its unique perspective, but be cautious if you don’t enjoy sophisticated mathematics; it could be a tough read. Lastly, I have mentioned this book in more detail on a more qualitative degree but this is just my personal interpretation of the books quantitative findings..

    The system bus is well over 1066MHz, makes use of very fast DDR3 ram which this unit is can be upgraded too 8 gigs of ram. Additionally the graphics are in true native, and also watching a dvd and blu-ray was an experience, using the Altec Lansing audio surround. In terms of surfing the web, I have never been in a mobile device which includes speeds that are merely unbelievable.
    Nike Air Max Mens Cheap

  • Christian Louboutin shoes says:

    Hey there. I’m wondering if you might be interested in doing a link exchange? I see your website: and my blog are structured around the same subject matter. I’d love to switch links or possibly guest author a post for you. Here is my personal contact:. I highly recommend you contact me if you’re even slightly interested. Appreciate it.
    Christian Louboutin shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoescheap.net