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Benjamin Gates’ Yelp Reviews in DC
January 7, 2014 | 2:30PM

What’s the first stop on any tourist’s visit to DC? Doesn’t matter, they’ll let you know in the not-quite accurately starred Yelp reviews of places they just don’t seem to understand. After pouring through some of the comments on our nation’s most revered landmarks, we came across reviews by one curiously apt Benjamin Gates. Oversharing? Possibly. Especially considering…

Yeah.

The National Archives

Category: Landmarks & Historical Buildings
700 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, DC 20408

archives

From Ben G.

“Major pluses: lackluster security easily circumvented with typical Hollywood tricks, ample parking for inconspicuous white vans, Declaration of Independence decoys by the dozens.”

Stars: 4 out of 5

The White House

Category: Landmarks & Historical Buildings
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, DC 20500

wh

From Ben G.

“WHAT THE, LIKE, FUCK MAN, SECRET SERVICE DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING ON M- well the book isn’t here. Guess I have to kidnap the President of the United States.”

Stars: 1 out of 5

Mount Vernon

Category: Landmarks & Historical Buildings, Libraries
3200 Mt Vernon Memorial Hwy
Alexandria, VA 22121

vernon

From Ben G.

“Did you know, there’s secret passageways and doors to trap POTUS? Cool.”

Stars: 4 out of 5

Library of Congress

Category: Landmarks & Historical Buildings, Libraries
101 Independence Ave SE
Washington, DC 20540

libraryofcongress

From Ben G.

“THE BOOK’S HERE, THE BOOK’S HERE! It’s full of secrets, and… Is that the first print of Green Eggs and Ham?”

Stars: 5 out of 5

 

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