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Behind The Desk 99: You Don’t Have To Read This Town
July 12, 2013 | 1:30PM

Brandon Wetherbee is the host of the podcast/talk show You, Me, Them, Everybody. The show records tonight at 7:30 p.m. at the Wonderland Ballroom with guests Nate Johnson, Adam Friedland, Dana Bell and The Doozies.

“This Town” is a book by The New York Times Magazine’s Mark Leibovish. The “Town” he’s referring to is Washington D.C. The big, bad place where the Washington Wizards perform sport, place where there’s a street named ‘K,’ THE PLACE I’M CURRENTLY IN (!!!), WASHINGTON D.C.! Therefore, I have an opinion on this book that I have not read because it has not yet been released and lots of people have an opinion about this book that is very important/not important/will be irrelevant in two weeks.

The Slate review complains that Leibovish couldn’t find good pizza. A New York Times review said positive stuff. Then the Washington Post said stuff. Then the Christian Science Monitor summed all that up and blah blah blah. I don’t care.

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It’s one person’s perspective. It’s not a guide book. It doesn’t pretend to be a comprehensive look at who every single person living within the 68.3 miles of the District. It’s a book meant to stir discussion. It’s something people will buy to read on a plane in and out of D.C. It’s not about pizza.

I don’t care about this book because that’s not my world. Stuff on K Street or on the Hill is not Washington D.C. but it is Washington. The stuff that happens there is very important to the District and the rest of the world but who gives a shit if one dude can’t find good pizza?

I don’t care about this book because the people that are pre-ordering this book on Amazon are also ordering boring and toothless music.

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Tony Bennett? Brian Stokes Mitchell? Perfectly fine music for retirement. I am not retired. Since I am not retired, I will not attempt to read “This Town.”

I’m sure this book has redeeming points. I’m sure this book has horrible points. I do know that I will not enjoy reading this book.

I’m glad this book exists. I’m glad the Express devoted their Thursday, July 11 cover story to this book. I’m glad it’s igniting discussion over power and pizza. It helped remind me that we get to curate everything.

If you think this city is shitty, that’s perfectly fine. You can move or try to make it better. If you think this site is shitty, that’s perfectly fine. You can click away or become a contributor to make it better. If you hate what you see on Facebook, well, this one isn’t OK. You know you can block people and posts, right? Don’t complain about what you see on Facebook.

You don’t have to read “This Town.” You should know about it, at least if you live in D.C., but reading it is whatever. Just watch The West Wing or something else that corresponds with your political beliefs. Same thing.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night. The pizza in this town is just OK. I’m going back to Chicago. This town has too many nerds and not enough good pizza.

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