Brandon Wetherbee hosts the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody at the Wonderland Ballroom and in Baltimore, Brooklyn, Chicago and Philadelphia. Listen to it online at youmethemeverybody.com. He’ll be at the Artisphere in Arlington on July 21 hosting This Is A Game Show with music from Ugly Purple Sweater.

What a crazy week! That comic said that thing and then the person in the audience said something and the comic really didn’t like it so he said a super no-no thing and people are all argh! But I have a cat on my lap!

Do you guys see that! It’s a cat! It’s so small! It’s not even a kitty! It’s a cat that got sick as a kitty and it’s an adult cat but it’s so small! Back to that thing. Oh jeez, comedy is so weird, am I right? It’s all airlines and don’t say that thing and Louis CK. Wouldn’t it be cool if you were friends with Louis CK? He’s so funny. He’s like the stand up version of this cat on my lap! It’s still here! The cat is still on my lap!

And then that other thing happened. Oh, what a crazy week! The guy that wants to be president said a speech to a bunch of people that don’t want him to be president and everybody booed. That’s probably a bad scene. Why go in front of people that hate you? Well, I guess I can relate. A lot of times when I’m hosting my show I don’t think people like me. But then I think about my cat and I smile. I sure do like cats. Like this one on my lap! She’s still here! Hooray for this little not kitty but adult cat!

Sometimes it’s hard to think about the news. The news isn’t a lot of fun. You know what band was fun? The Misfits! Wow, they’re so great! Then the lead singer got short and angry and stopped singing punk rock songs and started singing metal rock songs. Those are still good, but they’re not as good. It’s like when a cute cat is asleep on the floor. Cats that are asleep on the floor are cute but you guys know what’s even better? When that cat is on your lap! Hooray! Still
here!

I think about things other than comedy and presidents and The Misfits. Not much else, but enough to make me a good human being. I like to think I’m a good human being. I like people and stuff. Stuff like talk shows. I sure do like talk shows. I like them enough to do one! Did you know I host a talk show? Did you know I had a cat on my lap? Well guess what? I still do!

That last part was kind of misleading. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t plug my show all the time. I get it. I do. Let’s see, what do I actually care about? Comedy, presidents, The Misfits, talk shows…I guess it wasn’t misleading. Those are pretty great things. Sports is in there too. Sports are cool. I like cool stuff. Have you heard the new Smashing Pumpkins record? It’s all ugh like you’d expect but the guitar parts on the first two songs, maybe just the first one, are great. See? I’m an awesome critic. In order of awesome music critics, it goes, me, Kanye West, Pitchfork, everyone else. Kanye is so cool. I wonder if we’d be best friends. Probably not. We’d probably be super good friends, but not besties. His bestie is probably his new lady Kim Kardashian. They make a cute couple. What’s that? Oh! It’s a cat on my lap!

Yea, I like that couple. Maybe my lady and me and them could go on dates. We could shop for shoes. Shoes are neat. Some people like to call shoes kicks. Those people are cool. You know who doesn’t need shoes, or kicks? Cats! Like the one on my lap!

I have no idea whose cat this is.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night.