by Brandon Wetherbee
Brandon Wetherbee hosts the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody the first two Friday’s of the month at the Wonderland Ballroom and in Brooklyn and Chicago once a month. Subscribe to it online at youmethemeverybody.com. He’ll be hosting You, Me, Them, Everybody Live! the BROS BEING BROS Official Tribute to Pinterest edition Friday, April 5 at the Wonderland Ballroom with guests Kasaun Wilson and The Whole Damme Delegation.
Let me begin with the awesome obvious fact, BROS fucking rule. That being said, it’s time we renew our greatness and offer a celebration to everything that makes BROS BROS.
I am a BRO. Every red-blooded American male is a BRO. An uber masculine product that values things like kicking ass, taking names, pounding shots, yelling to strangers about sports, shoving private places into other private places, rocking the fuck out, etc. Yea, I may not be the kind of BRO that you think of when you think of BROS since I write for BYT and host a talk show in bars in places like Columbia Heights and Williamsburg and have no DUI’s and haven’t been
in a fraternity and knows all the Nirvana drummers and have been in a loving relationship with a consensual partner for years. Whatever. That’s old shit. Want to know about the new shit? It’s fucking clear BRO, it’s all about being a BRO and showcasing how awesome it is being a BRO on Pinterest.
What’s that? You don’t know about Pinterest? Well, time to BRO the fuck up and embrace the BRO loving shit that is Pinterest! Let me open your soon to be BRO loving eyes to the majesty of putting all your favorite internet photos onto one kick ass page! Now that Pinterest is around I’ll never Ask Jeeves to show me manly photos of athletes crying!
That’s right BROS and soon to be BROS if you’re willing to get a very good and appropriate gender reassignment surgery, Pinterest is here to service us! You know what I mean! This social media thing, from what I can tell, is going to change our world! Yea, I know a bunch of hipster chicks (STOP READING THIS HIPSTER CHICKS! IT’S OUR TIME NOW!) are currently pinning photos of shoes, celebrities they say they hate but secretly admire and weak indie rock boys with bangs, but that shit is about to end! My kick ass talk show is about to kick even more ass by exposing Pinterest to the kick ass BRO crowd! Kick ass!
I’m currently writing this in the presence of some dumb broad. She’s all like, “You’re not a BRO! You’re just some smart ass dick that associates BROS with the assholes that liked hair metal! You’re stuck in an era that Zack and Slater fought over Kelly!” You know what? That is a dumb broad! Zack banged that chick and then married her, like a fucking BRO!
So what’s a BRO! Fuck off! Ha ha ha! I’m just fucking around! I’ll explain it, just calm the fuck down first. Check your shit. OK. Now we’re cool. I’m a BRO. A super, awesome person with a sweet bod that likes to party and talk about having a sweet bod. Not into sweet bods, sorry, but you’re not a BRO. BROS are totally into sweet bods. The Bash Brothers, those guys were into sweet, pumped up bods. Full of steroids and hittin’ dingers and not giving a fuck!
I’m getting off track. Alright, listen BROS, check out my super sweet Pinterest page before tonight’s talk show. It’ll totally make everything clear and inspire you guys to BRO the fuck out, come to my sweet show, kick ass, take names, admire sweet bods, start your own Pinterest in tribute to testosterone and be a generally awesome BRO. Or something. It’s really hard to keep this shtick up.